Alteration
by Cheyenne32
Summary: Change is inevitable. Everything changes. Jobs, people, situations. Things change. Things happen. Lives go on no matter how much you may not want them to. No matter how difficult things may be or whether the changes are good or bad. Chapter 21 is up!
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: **If only I owned Castle… :)

**Summary: **Change is inevitable. Everything changes. Jobs, people, situations. Things change. Things happen. Lives go on no matter how much you may not want them to. No matter how difficult things may be. No matter how they change for the worse or for the best. It happens. Life happens.

**Author's Note: **Yes, I know that I still have three other stories out there still unfinished and two (including this one) that I'm working on right now that haven't been put out there yet. I still can't help, but put this one out there too. I just can't help it. The thought came to me and it's only taken me like an hour to write so I'm sure there are some mistakes, which I apologize for. I'll try to be better in later chapters. Please review! :)

And I know that it's short and I know that this murder is similar to the one in my story Too Little Too Late, but I never finished that crime and I like the idea of it. But it's just the opening. I promise that the other chapters will be much longer! :)

* * *

**Prologue: **

_Bzzz…bzz…bzz…_

She groaned as she moved to grab the phone off her nightstand as she sat. "Beckett," she murmured into the phone sleepily. She rubbed her eyes with her free hand as she glanced at the clock on her bedside table.

"We've got a body." Esposito replied.

"Why else would you be calling me at one o'clock at night…or in the morning? Whichever way you would prefer to look at it," she sighed. Another missed morning breakfast. "Where is it? And is it freaky?"

"Oh, it's definitely freaky all right. Upper East Side," he replied.

"Upper East Side? That's not our territory. Why the hell are you waking me up then?"

"You were requested specifically."

"By whom?"

"Congressman Williams."

"Why would I be requested by him?"

"The mayor," he answered. "He and the Congressman are golfing buddies. He supposedly told the Congressman that you and he were 'poker buddies' and that you were the best detective in New York."

"That's nice, I guess, but what does this have to do with the Congressman?"

"It's his son."

"I'll be there as soon as I can." Kate hung up the phone before walking into her closet. Grabbing the first pair of clothes that caught her eyes and the pumps that went with it, she walked into her bathroom to take a quick shower. She dried off, brushed her teeth, and dressed quickly before grabbing her father's watch and her necklace that held her mother's ring and she put them on. Walking to her nightstand, she paused to glance at the picture that rested on it.

It was dark in her room, but she could still make out the people in it. The picture was a happy one taken on her daughter's first birthday. All of her friends and family were there and her aunt on her mother's side had taken the picture. Esposito and Ryan each had cake smothered on their faces from where they had gotten in a fight over a piece of cake and it had gotten messy. The only reason that she hadn't stopped it was because Arianna had watched it giggling at her silly 'uncles.' Lanie was frowning and trying to pull bits of frosting out of her curly hair because she had been caught on the sidelines of the fight. She knew that Esposito probably slept on the couch that night, if she had even let him come to her apartment at all.

It was still strange to think of them as a couple. Even after five years. They had gotten together only months before Beckett had given birth. The team probably felt like that whenever she mentioned or whenever they saw her daughter.

In the picture, Kate was watching her daughter with amazement in her eyes as she buried her face into her own smaller version of the big cake. Her daughter, who was always so prim and proper, so much unlike her father. Kate shook her head at the very thought of him ridding her head of all thoughts of him. She did this whenever thoughts of him attempted to sneak into her head. Arianna was grinning cheekily at the camera, and Kate thought about how much her daughter had changed in only four years.

She was taller and slimmer than she was at that age (having lost all of her baby fat by age three) and any other four year old that Kate had ever seen before, even though Kate hadn't seen that many four year olds before. And smarter too. She wasn't afraid to correct anyone's English and in that way she was like her father. _Damn it, Kate, _the detective scolded herself.

_Focus. Work. _

Suddenly snapping back into reality she reached into the top door of the said nightstand to retrieve her badge and gun. Shutting it quietly, she made her way out of her bedroom and into the hall of her apartment. She paused by her daughter's room and walked into it. Arianna shivered as the air off the fan hit her. Kate smiled and pulled the comforter up from around her ankles to tuck her in snugly.

Arianna rolled over and Kate froze, praying that she hadn't woken her up. After a minute the girl let out a small snore and the detective let out a realized breath and she turned to leave. "Mommy," a small voice arouse from inside the room as Kate reached the doorway of her daughter's room.

"Yes, sweetie?"

Kate turned to face her daughter and saw her sitting up. "Why are you up?"

"I've got to go to work, sweetheart."

Ari yawned, "You've got to go catch bad guys?"

"That's right."

"Is Elise going to make me breakfast and take me to preschool tomorrow, like always?" She asked. Elise was there elderly neighbor who regarded the Becketts as family and was always there to be able to babysit Arianna for Kate when she had a case. Kate wasn't sure that she could have made it without Elise.

"As always," the brunette promised.

"All right, then you can go." Ari agreed reluctantly.

Kate faked a pout and walked over to her daughter's princess canopy bed. "I don't get a hug?" She sat on the edge of her baby's bed and stretched her arms out.

"Of course you do Mommy," the girl murmured as she buried herself into her mother's arm. "Please be careful."

"I always am, honey."

"Okay."

"I have to go now."

The girl's bottom lip shook. "I…I don't want you to go." The girl's voice broke and it broke her heart to hear it. "Please don't go."

"I have to…" she murmured as she extracted herself from the girl's arms. "I'll be home for dinner tonight and maybe I'll even be able to pick you up from preschool too, but if I'm going to do either you've got to let me go."

The girl sighed.

"Now, go back to sleep because you need to get up early so you can eat Elise's famous waffles." Kate spoke and Arianna nodded enthusiastically. She loved waffles even though Beckett never made them because she didn't like them (she preferred pancakes; it was a texture thing).

Ari lied back down on the bed and Kate stood up to tuck her in. Once she was snug in the covers, Kate left the room. After stopping momentarily by Elise's apartment to ask her to watch Arianna, she left to go to the crime scene, speeding through the traffic of New York City with sirens blaring.

The 'mother' part of Katherine Beckett was back at her apartment, forgotten, for then.


	2. Cosmo

**Author's Note: **I'm sorry if there was any confusion on the last chapter, but Kate did not leave Arianna alone. She stopped by her neighbor's apartment and the neighbor went over to Kate's to sleep in her guest room for the rest of the night. In the morning, Elise (the neighbor) would make Arianna breakfast before taking her to school. I didn't write all of that because it just didn't fit, but that's what happened in my mind. Just to straighten that up.

Oh, and thanks to all the reviewers (Beckett NYPD, Divamercury, and AllusionToAnIllusion)!

This chapter is based on Beckett's apartment building being on 3rdAvenue in New York City (which I made up). It's just a drive north from SoHo, where Castle lives. This is staying that there are no other coffee shops near SoHo (complete lie), but this one. But it _is _fiction, so who cares?

* * *

**Chapter One: **

Kate rushed into the Starbucks coffee shop at the intersection of 3rd and 15th. She mentally thanked God that it was opened twenty-four hours. "Grande skim latte, two pumps sugar-free vanilla and a bear claw." She told the yawning register lady.

As Kate got out enough money to pay the woman, she noticed long orange hair out of the corner of her eye. It was strangely familiar. The girl seemed older, but it had been five years since she had last seen her. Kate was stuck in between praying that it wasn't her and praying that it was her. She vaguely remembered moving out of the way in line so that the next customer could order while still staring at the owner of that fiery hair. It couldn't have been-

"Kate!" A voice cried as the orange-haired girl turned around. It was her. Alexis Castle launched herself at the older woman, wrapping herself in a tight hug. "Oh!" the girl exclaimed, pulling back. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what got into me. You probably don't even remember me, do you? After all it has been six years."

The detective just stared at the younger woman, shocked, while not bothering to correct her. After all, she was probably the only one (no matter how much she wished that he did) who remembered (much less cared) about how long it had been. She had been the one suffering through the years without him while he had most likely just gone on to the next bimbo and forgotten about her long ago. The only reason that she had gotten through that time was because of her daughter and that had been just barely too.

Kate was surprised that her daughter had turned out as she did. After he left (she couldn't even bear to even think his name) and before she found out that she was expecting, she had done a lot of drinking and by a lot she meant-

"I'm Alexis." The girl interrupted her thoughts. "You know, Castle. Yeah, you probably don't remember me."

"I do," Kate choked out the words. "But I just can't believe that you're at a Starbucks in the middle of the night."

"Oh," Alexis breathed, sounding strangely relieved. "I couldn't sleep….with all the stuff going on with the wedding and everything…everyone is just so stressed. I like the hot chocolate from here. Plus the Starbucks near Dad's is closed for renovations."

Kate smiled. Only Alexis would drink hot chocolate in the middle of the night during the summer. Wait, did she just say-"The wedding?" she asked. "You're getting married?"

Alexis laughed, "No, no, not me."

"You're Gram then? Is she still with Chet?"

The college graduate shook her head. "Oh, no, Gram isn't going to get married _any _time soon." Alexis stared at Kate for a minute in confusion. "You don't get out much, do you?"

The detective laughed. She hadn't got out much before her daughter's birth and now after it…all of her time was divided by work and home. She didn't have time for really anything else. Kate got all her shopping and things like that done on a day off and even then was rushed. She finally answered, "No, not too much."

Alexis frowned at her as if an internal battle raged on inside of her. "You seriously don't know, do you?"

"Know what?"

The girl took a deep breath before pulling a magazine that Kate vaguely recognized as Cosmo out of her bag. Kate didn't even hear the girl's words as she stared at the magazine in front of her…no, he couldn't be… "Dad's getting married, Kate."

"To whom?" she finally choked out the words while trying to blink back her tears before the observant twenty-five year old noticed. Kate willed this all to be a dream: seeing Alexis and hearing about and even seeing _this. _Kate felt numb and broken as her heart shattered inside her chest. She tried to practice taking deep breaths, but she failed. Her breaths coming out in short, but quiet gasps.

Alexis looked at her, seemingly unaware of the woman's reaction to the news. "Do you remember Kyra Blaine?"

Of course she remembered Kyra Blaine. How could she forget the woman? "The one who got away," Kate murmured, mostly to herself though.

"Not anymore," Alexis replied. A _that's you_, passed through her head, but she didn't voice the words aloud.

"I thought…I thought she was married."

Alexis' mouth turned into a flat line. It seemed as if she wasn't too happy about her father's engagement to Kate, but Kate wasn't entirely paying too much attention to the girl facial expressions instead she was worrying about controlling her own and making sure they were neutral. "Divorced," Alexis finally spoke, "six months ago and the first thing she does is come and see if Dad's with you."

"Kate Beckett!" the Starbucks lady called and Kate gratefully welcomed the interruption glad to leave the upsetting conversation for even a few seconds. _Maybe coffee would make me feel better_, she thought as she accepted the two items and took a large sip of coffee. _Nope, that's just wishful thinking on my part. _

Kate turned back around to Alexis. "Is he happy?" she couldn't stop the words from leaving her mouth.

"Yes." She said. _Not as happy as he would be with you, but yes, he's happy. _Alexis thought to herself.

"I have to go," Kate murmured the words despite the fact that she wanted to be able to stay and talk to the girl for hours (about a different subject of course), but she knew she couldn't. She had a job to do and she was going to do it. Kate began walk away when she turned around to rush over to the girl and give her a huge hug which the girl returned fully. When she pulled back, she realized that she wasn't the only one with tears in her eyes. "Are you going to tell him about this?"

"No," Alexis murmured back. Sniffling slightly as she thought, _No_, _it took him long enough to get over you. Well, mostly over you anyway. _Kate nodded in thanks and smiled at the girl before heading towards the door. "Will I see you again?" She called as Kate opened the door to leave.

"That would be nice," the older woman turned around smiling, but she then frowned as a thought entered her head. "But do you think that it would be such a great idea?"

"No." She admitted, "Probably not. You're right." Kate left the building and walked towards the place where she parked her car when someone behind her called, "Wait!" The panting person was Alexis who chased after her with her hot chocolate still in hand. "We don't have to tell him," she murmured.

Kate finally smiled. _That would be great_, she thought, _to see Alexis sometimes_. She loved the girl almost like she was her own daughter. "Just tell me when and where?"

"Have you changed your number?"

_As if, _the brunette thought. "No."

"I'll call you sometime and see if we can set something up."

"Perfect."

As car slid into the driver's seat of her car, she realized that back there was the first time that someone, who wasn't her daughter, had made her smile. The first time that that had happened in _years_. Then she frowned as she thought about him and the fact that he was getting married while she was still trying to get over him. As she pulled out of the parking space and into the busy Manhattan streets (even at night), she cried. Once she arrived at the crime scene the tears were dry, but she still felt the need to cry as she continued to think about the man who stole her heart. _Wait, _she thought as she slammed the door to her car. As she ducked under the crime scene tape and flashed her badge to an officer, a thought entered her mind.

_Cosmo._

The name of the magazine that published an article about her and the famous author. The name of the magazine that published an article about the famous author and his upcoming nuptials. The name of the magazine that Lanie had a subscription to and got _every _month.

Oh, her friend had a _lot _of explaining to do, but luckily for her she wasn't the coroner at this scene. But thankfully they had called an M.E. that she was familiar with. Even if it was Perlmutter.

"What do we have?" Kate asked Esposito as she walked up beside him. The body was naked, covered in makeup, and wore a wig. "He's a cross dresser? The Congressman's son?"

"Seems like it. The Congressman wanted this hush-hush. Not going to happen," Esposito gestured to the arriving media van.

"I can't believe they're up this early." Ryan commented, but Beckett ignored him.

"Get him out of here," she told Perlmutter, "quickly. The press doesn't need any pictures of this."

"It may contaminate evidence." The M.E. spoke up.

Kate breathed. "I know, but I willing to take the risk." Perlmutter reluctantly gestured to his team and they loaded the body up quickly before the news crew had time to unload their cameras to take pictures of the body. Kate let out a breath as she turned to Ryan. "Any witnesses?"

"No, the road's supposed to be closed for updating and the workers," he pointed with his notepad to a group of men in uniforms lingering just inside the crime scene tape. He think pointed at an apartment building a block away. "A man in this apartment woke up to his daughter's pug begging to be taking out on a walk. He did and that's how he was discovered."

"Okay, you two start interviewing doormen at the surrounding hotels and see if they saw anything or know anyone who might have seen anything. I'll go see if I can get a timeline put together."

Kate began walking towards her car, leaving the two to their jobs when a man blocked her path. "Detective Beckett, I assume." It was the Congressman. "I've got to admit, I'm surprised. When Bobby was talking about you I kept picturing someone older and definitely not as pretty as you."

"Thank you, sir. If you'd excuse me, I have to-"

"Yes, I know you have to go, Detective, but I just wanted to thank you for getting him loaded up before the press or anyone else could see."

"Just doing my job."

"No, you're not. You didn't have to do that, but you did. You normally wouldn't have loaded the body up so quickly."

He was right. She would have normally waited until CSU have gotten there, but she didn't that time. "I've been on your side before," she murmured to him. "And I know that if that had been my family member lying out there and press about to take pictures of them, I would have wanted someone to get them out of that hell hole too. Other detectives may not have done that, but to me it's just part of the job. But if you'll excuse me, I have to go."

He let her go and Beckett left in the direction of the precinct, but after a few minutes she rethought it deciding to run an errand first. She knocked loudly on the apartment door, not caring whom she awoke. After a few more knocks than normally necessary, she heard the door being unlocked. Lanie appeared yawing after the door slid open. "Girl, you better have a good excuse for waking me up in the middle of the night."

Kate slid by her and walked into the familiar apartment.

"Girl, what's gotten into you?"

The detective didn't reply she just held up the magazine that she had stopped by the store to get on the way here. Lanie frowned at the very sight of this.

"Oh," she murmured. "That's what."

"Lanie," Kate's voice broke at her friend's name. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Lanie shook her head frowning before wrapping her friend up in her arms. Kate burst into tears at the contact. Sobs wracked through her entire body. "Why? Why? Why? Why?" Kate repeated and Lanie knew that Kate wasn't talking about why she kept it from her anymore. Lanie knew that her tank top that she used as a pajama top was going to be ruined, but at that moment she couldn't care less. Her friend's heart was breaking and right then she was going to do anything that she could to help her. If just hugging her was what she needed why then, then she would give it to her.

* * *

Corrective criticism welcomed and appreciated. Just as long as it isn't too mean! I'm sorry if this is confusing! I'm sick and congested so my head is like pounding and I'm struggling to concentrate. Please forgive me!


	3. Groomsmen

**Chapter 2:**

_"I think it was me, it must have been me.  
__I guess I did something wrong,  
__I tried too hard, wanted too much,  
__I guess that's why he's gone…"_

-When You Love Someone Like That, LeAnn Rimes

As soon as the tears slowed down and began to dry up, Kate noticed that they weren't standing in Lanie's doorway anymore. Somehow they were now on her couch...in her living room. She briefly wondered how long she had been sitting when she saw Lanie staying at her cautiously as if she was going to break down again at any moment, which she might have done. "You were protecting me, weren't you?"

Lanie nodded slowly. _Once again with the caution_, Kate thought. "It probably would have been best to have told you...I was an idiot to think that you wouldn't have seen the papers. I'm so sorry, Girl," Lanie patted her hand while fighting a yawn. It was so not the time for that right then.

"I probably wouldn't if Alexis wouldn't have told me." She murmured.

"Alexis? Alexis who? Girl, you better have not gone and got a new girlfriend on me because if you have I-"

"No, she's not a girlfriend. More of a sister type. She's younger than me."

"Wait, you aren't talking about Castle's daughter, are you?" She went on unaware of Kate's wince at the sound of his name. "You're talking to her! Oh my gosh, this is so big!"

Kate tried to forget the fact that that was what she had told her when she and Castle had first slept together. First, she snorted internally. Only was more like it. She wasn't the only one of her friends to know about it, but she was the first. The others had discovered it months later when he had left. "No, we just talked. That's it. It's not big. She's a nice kid. I like her." She purposely didn't tell Lanie about them agreeing to meet each other again because that would have just been a disaster. Lanie would grill her about it before making some insane psychological statement about the situation, which were mostly (well, not really) wrong. Then she would have to listen to a thirty minutes about how badly it would inevitably end.

"Yeah, I know," Lanie sighed. "I liked her too."

Kate tried to ignore the past tense usage in her friend's sentence, but she couldn't. _Liked_. As if it was so easy to regard them as the past, which it was. For Lanie. For Esposito. And even for Ryan. But not for her. Never for her. And that was the hell and the pain that she had to live with every day.

She hadn't even wanted him when he came into her life, but he did like a hurricane hurdling through everything leaving destruction, turmoil, and chaos in its wake. She definitely didn't like him at first. All he was to her was a frustration, a problem, a variable that she needed to get rid of. Then, suddenly, she didn't know what happened, but he began to grow on her. His jokes, flirts, his wild theories, his smirk, his personality, especially when he was with Alexis and asking all fatherly. Everything about him began to draw her to him. She didn't know exactly when it was that it had started, but it had been a while before she noticed her feelings for him.

Kate sighed. She needed to quit thinking about him before she burst into tears again because she didn't to go solve a murder. Wait. Kate had a case to solve and a murderer to catch, but here she was fussing about her personal life to her best friend. She was pathetic and selfish. At least she was dead. She was so selfish. "Listen Lanie, thanks so much for everything, but I...I have to go. I have a case." She looked around the room at the hundreds of scattered tissues and she began to pick them up hurriedly.

"I would say that you don't have to worry about them, but since it is your snot covering them uhm... No, thanks." Lanie smiled at her. "We need to get together for drinks or something soon. It's been a while." Almost five years since she and Lanie had had a girl's night out to be exact, but after all what else could a single mom do?

"We do," the detective agreed wholeheartedly. "Maybe Monday. I have the day off and I was going to let Kirsten the daytime babysitter have a night off, but maybe you and I could go shopping. You know, make a day out of it. Mani-pedis and things like that," she suggested.

"Sounds like a plan," Lanie murmured as Kate put the last of the tissues in the trash before telling her friend goodbye and leaving her apartment.

The streets of New York City were busy to say the least, but it didn't stop the young detective from arriving at the precinct where she working in record time.

"Guys, you've got back soon." Kate remarked to the two detectives who were working diligently at their desks. They looked up curiously at her and Kate thought that she had seen a tint of worry in eyes before it registered that it was truly her in front of them. "What?"

"It's been two hours!" Esposito exclaimed.

Ryan continued for him, "We were worried sick!" Esposito hit him on the arm seemingly embarrassed by experiencing the emotion when there was nothing wrong with their boss.

"Calm down, Princess. I'm fine." She left to go sit at her desk and leave them to their thoughts about where she was (she just loved to toy with them).

The only thing that she wasn't expecting was Esposito following her to her desk. "Is Arianna okay?" He seemed concerned for her daughter's welfare and Kate felt her heart flutter. She loved those guys, even if she did pick on them a lot.

"She's fine, Espo."

He blinked, looking relieved before speaking. "So, then quickie that wasn't so quick?" He joked. Kate smiled. It had been a while since he was picking on her about her love life. Both of the guys seemed to walk on eggshells whenever her personal life outside of her daughter was mentioned.

Kate raised an eyebrow before winking at him. "Don't you want to know?"

"I'll figure it out."

"You _try _that."

Esposito smirked and then moved to stand before an afterthought. "Oh, we've cleared it with the Captain, but I thought that you might want to know that Ryan and I are taking September the fourth off."

"Picking out matching furniture?" Kate asked, trying to ignore the nagging feeling that she had heard about something that was on that date.

"Don't you want to know?" He repeated her earlier words with a grin, but Kate couldn't help but think that it seemed to be a little forced. What was happening on September fourth?"

"I'll figure it out." She repeated his words and tried to convince herself that she imagined the grimace that momentarily passed over her co-worker's face. Without replying, he left and Kate felt even more determined to figure out what was on that day.

Hours later, the only things that Kate had learned was that Evan Williams had been out with friends that night, but had left early (at ten thirty) claiming he was sick. Their designated driver had offered him a lift, but he had declined and taken a taxi. The taxi report showed that he had arrived at his apartment at tenfifty-eight that night and the time of death was around midnight. So there was a time period of two hours that she had to fill. Kate sighed as she finished writing that on the murder board before going into the break room to grab some cappuccino from the machine that _he _had left.

The detective sighed thinking of how long it had taken her to even start drinking that coffee again after she came back to work from her maternity leave. She had blamed it on her still waging hormones that the doctor had stated that would last for a few months after her delivery because after two months she finally allowed herself to drink it again without becoming too upset.

Beckett took in a gulp of air as she thought about those hard first few months after her daughter's birth. People say delivery was hard; they said nothing about how hard it was _after _the birth. Sure people mention the highlights: terrible twos, the horrible teenage years, and such, but they didn't put enough emphasis on those first clueless months.

Maybe it was easier if someone had been there to experience it with her.

Kate frowned. _Don't think about that, _she chanted in her head. She sipped her coffee and made her way back to her desk. Picking her phone up from its holder to call Evan's apartment to get the name of the doorman that was on call last night, she glanced around the precinct room. Her eyes flitted to her bag briefly before glancing over to where Karpowski was doing paperwork.

Then she looked back at her bag. Cosmo. The phone slid out of her hand and onto her desk with a bam. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw people looking at her curiously, but she didn't care. She had just realized when and where she had heard that date before. Standing up not even bothering to hang up her phone properly, she walked over to her team's desks. They looked up from their papers and their eyes widened at the wild expression on her face.

"Why are you going to Castle's wedding?" Her voice was deadly calm.

Ryan's eyes widened. "You knew?"

"Apparently, now if you too don't tell me wh-"

Esposito looked down at the group before interrupting her. "We are groomsmen."

She stepped back from the two as if they were dangerous. Kate tried to keep her face neutral as she tried to keep a betrayed expression off her face. They knew what all had happened and yet they were still in contact with him. Kate gulped as she wondered how they could do this to her. How they could betray her like that. Ryan and Esposito stood slowly and carefully before starting in her direction. "No." Her voice shook angrily. "Don't get near me."

Ryan reached an arm out to touch her and she recoiled. "Don't touch me!" she snapped at the man. "Get away from me."

She felt the whole precinct's eyes on her. Kate walked by her desk to grab her bag when she saw the Captain walking out of his off. "Detective Beckett, what's going on?"

"Why don't you ask them?" she sneered in Ryan and Esposito's way. "I'm going home for the night. I'll be back tomorrow."

* * *

Okay, so I'm not sure about this chapter either. My head's killing me because I'm so congested. L Ugh, I hate colds and sinuses. Thanks to all the reviewers of the last chapter. I'm glad ya'll liked it. I got several reviews about my 'different' writing style, and even though I don't exactly understand what ya'll mean about that, thanks! So, I started this chapter up on my cell last night because I was having problems with my internet, but I finished it on Word on my laptop. If there are any errors in the beginning of this chapter (and end too, but I'm mostly worried about the first thousand or so words), I apologize. There might be some things that are meant to be italicized and aren't because it didn't convert correctly so I'm sorry for that too.

But, anyway, I hoped you liked it! There will (probably) be another chapter posted tomorrow, if everything goes right.


	4. Chocolate Chip Cookies And A Movie

**Author's Note**: Thanks for the reviews! All right so there was a lot of confusion in the last chapter so this is what (in my mind) had happened. The guys ran into Castle someday, somewhere (after the engagement) and started talking to him (they all avoid talking of work: books, homicides, etc...); they just talked about men stuff and everything. Then (like Alexis and Kate) they agree to do it again (just keep it a secret from family and friends). So they do and Castle asks them to be his groomsmen at the end of the meet. Out of guilt, they agree, but then they feel guilty for doing so anyway and decide not to tell Beckett about it. So, that's what happened. Does it make any sense? Practically its they feel bad for Castle so they agree to be his groomsmen, but they feel like they're betraying Beckett so they don't tell her. They then try to figure out a way of getting out of it, but they can't, so that's it.

By the way, who said anything about Castle being the baby-daddy? :) Also you all should know that Kate is very good at keeping a secret that she doesn't want to get out (especially from the paparazzi). So, I hope that clears up everything. :) I'm thinking that this will be a happily ever after story. Just these first few chapters aren't too happy though, but they will get better!

By the way, this story is set mid-August.

* * *

**Chapter Three: **

Beckett arrived outside the building that was her daughter's school a few minutes late. She mentally cursed the guy in front of her who drove worse than her grandfather did when he was still alive. Kate jumped from her car and rushed into the now empty elementary school where Arianna attended pre-school. "Ms. Beckett," the older woman said as she walked into the classroom. Arianna was sitting in her desk waiting patiently and Kate couldn't help but think that she did _not _pick that up from her father. Actually she wondered where she got that from because she wasn't too patient either.

Arianna's teacher, Mrs. Brady, had a dislike for the fact that the detective was a detective and the fact that she had a kid and wasn't married and made no move to hide that, but Kate accepted that in stride and forced a smile in the woman's direction. "Hello, Mrs. Brady, I'm sorry I'm late; the traffic was horrible."

"Isn't it always?" The woman, who sat in her desk, removed her huge, round glasses that she had probably bought in at least the eighties.

Kate bit back the urge to show the woman what was horrible as she turned her attention to her daughter, who was deeply involved in a book. Kate smiled proudly at the young girl. Most the people in her class couldn't read a single word, but Arianna was begging her mother to buy her chapter books, which Beckett did.

"Hey, sweetie," Kate walked over to her child's desk and swatted beside it patted her arm which successfully interrupted her daughter's reverie.

"Mom!" the girl exclaimed excitedly ignoring the fact that she was one of the last children to be picked up for the day. She hurriedly put her bookmark in her book and dropped it onto her desk before throwing her arms over her mother's neck and wrapping her in a tight hug. "You're here!"

Kate was chuckling slightly when the girl released her. "I am," she agreed, "and I have the rest of the day off. What do you want to do?"

"Really? That's so cool!"

The detective tried to ignore the reason she had taken the rest of the day off as she replied to her excited daughter. "Yep, so I was thinking about going home and making chocolate chip cookies before popping in a movie. What do you think?"

"Can I pick the movie?"

"Always."

"And can we eat the chocolate cookies while watching the movie?"

"Only if it's not too close to supper by the time they're done." Kate promised. After all, it was only twelve-thirty and Arianna had just eaten lunch about thirty minutes earlier. They would probably have enough time before dinner if they hurried to get home because Kate was planning on making chicken pockets for the two and it took a while to get the ingredients together and cook them. The cookies took about forty-five minutes to cook. They were almost as bad as making a cake from scratch.

"Awesome!" Ari hugged her mom again. Once the hug ended, Ari jumped up and grabbed her things from the desk and made her way to the door. Standing at the door, she turned back to the now standing Kate before asking with a raised eyebrow with reminded Kate so much of herself, "Coming?"

"Geez," Kate murmured to herself. "When did I become the tag along in this relationship?" She asked while thinking about the many times when she had done the same thing to Castle. Kate glanced at Mrs. Brady, who hid a smile once she saw the detective was looking. _Was she smiling at us? _Kate wondered momentarily. "Goodbye, Mrs. Brady."

"Bye, Katherine," the gray-haired woman spoke. Kate bit back an eye roll as she followed her daughter out the door. After the many times that she had told the woman to call her 'Kate', she called her Katherine.

"Mom," Arianna whined in front of Kate at the detective's slow pace. Kate smiled and started to jog to catch up to her kid. Once they were side-by-side, Arianna took off at a full speed run down the long walkway that led to the room. Laughing, the thoughts about the day's events were long forgotten, Kate rushed after her daughter.

"Want to race?" Arianna called to her; her long brown hair cascading behind her as she ran.

Kate looked to her daughter with faux confusion. "Aren't we already?"

"Winner gets an ice cream sundae."

"What about the loser?"

Arianna smirked. "Banana split."

"Ooh," Kate spoke while slowing down to a walk. She loved banana splits. The younger brunette laughed at her mother as she reached their car. Once they were in the car, Arianna in the back in her car seat and Kate in the driver's seat, Kate spoke again, "Want to take a rain check on the ice cream?"

Arianna nodded enthusiastically. "Much rather have Grandma's chocolate chip cookies."

Kate smiled and she mentally agreed. She loved her mother's recipe for chocolate cookies and had told Arianna a story of her mother and her making the same cookies earlier that year. That led to a conversation about where her mother was. Kate had told her that she was up in heaven with the angels and Arianna had frowned before asking how the angels got her when Arianna never even got the chance to meet her. Beckett hid tears beneath her smile and had honestly replied I don't know.

-oOo-

That afternoon after Kate had slid the cookie pan into the over, she examined them. They both had cookie dough, flour, and many other ingredients smeared on both their clothes. Kate made a face. Those were going to be hard to get out. Kate had sent Arianna to get clean clothes on and pick out a movie, while Kate loaded the dish washer and cleaned up her kitchen.

"I found one." Arianna spoke while walking into the kitchen.

Kate slid the bottom row back into its place before shutting the door to the dishwasher. Kate turned it on before asking, "What is it?"

Ari blushed and held up the movie behind her back. "Lion King."

"Again?" she joked.

The four year old stared at the ground. "I like it."

"I know." Kate smiled. "All right, go put it in while I change." Kate walked into her bedroom before changing into a pair of black mid-thigh shorts and matching it with a long, baggy, blue plaid shirt and a gray tank-top.

"Mom!" she heard Ari shout from down the hall. "Your phone is ringing."

"I'm coming," she said running down the hall. She knew Esposito would be the only one who had guts to call her and she wasn't in the mood for him right then. She momentarily caught a look of worry on her daughter's face before it disappeared as the movie previews came on. "What do you want, Esposito?" She demanded angrily.

"Kate?" a female voice came on.

Kate blinked in surprise. "Alexis? Oh, I'm sorry; I thought you were someone else." She turned and walked into the kitchen ignoring the feeling of her daughter's eyes on her back.

"I know, you thought I was Esposito. You sounded pretty angry. Is this a bad time?"

"Oh, no, I actually have the rest of the day off to be honest."

"Really? Then could we meet later for supper or something?" Alexis asked innocently and Kate's eyes shot to the living room where her daughter giggled at the previews. "Do you have company? I'm sorry; I shouldn't have called. It was just really good to see you this morning."

"I…" Kate thought of how to answer that question. "Can I call you back in a few, please?"

Alexis' voice sounded hopeful, "Sure! That'd be great."

Beckett hung up her phone and then stared at it for a few minutes while thinking of what she was going to do. She didn't want to disappoint Alexis, but she had already told Arianna of her plans for supper. Plus, she just couldn't let Arianna stay with Elise _again_ especially after waking her up in the middle of the night last night. What could she do? Unless, she could invite Alexis over to her house for dinner, but then she'd have to explain Arianna, and how was she going to do that? But...

Yes, she finally decided. If it was all right with Arianna she would invite Alexis over to their apartment for supper. At that moment, Arianna chose to walk into the kitchen where Beckett was. "Who is Alexis?"

"She's…" Beckett paused, unsure of how to answer that question. The daughter of a friend seemed too impersonal. Like a daughter was true, but she wasn't sure how Ari would take that information. So she just settled on, "a friend."

"I haven't heard you mention her before."

"An old friend," Kate murmured as she added mentally, _that isn't too old, but she'll figure that out soon enough. _"Would you mind having a guest for dinner?"

The girl shrugged, "Sure."

"Thanks!" the relieved detective said, wrapping the girl in a hug. "Now, go start the movie. I've got to call Alexis back. I'll be there soon."

Kate hit the recent calls button before dialing Alexis back. "Hey, Alexis, what do you think about having dinner at my place. Do you like chicken pockets?"

* * *

So, next up Alexis meets Arianna. What do you think will happen? Please review! :)


	5. She's Practically His Clone

**Chapter Four: **

A knock on her door make Beckett jump. Arianna walked into the room and Kate noticed that she had changed her clothes _again. _This time she was wearing a dark blue dress that went down to her knees with puffy sleeves. Arianna had seen it in a store on one of Kate's days off when they had gone window shopping and she had begged Kate to get it for her. Kate had been reluctant because it was a bit expensive, but Ari had given her a puppy dog face and Kate inevitably got it for her. "Why are you all dressed up, sweetie?"

Arianna shrugged. "I wanted to look nice for your friend."

Kate smiled at her daughter as she finished setting the table. Sure, Kate had changed too, but her clothes needed to be changed; Arianna's clothes were fine. Kate smoothed out her v-neck t-shirt as she walked to the door, suddenly feeling butterflies in the pit of her stomach. She pulled open the door to reveal the smiling woman.

"Alexis." Kate smiled and all the butterflies in her disappeared. Alexis' face lit up after seeing the detective before rushing in to give her a tight hug. Kate returned the hug, but soon broke it nervously.

"Beckett-"

"You can call me Kate."

Alexis smiled nervously. "Kate, to be honest I-" Alexis glanced around the room while talking and, as her eyes landed on Arianna, she froze.

_Well, that's to be expected. _Kate thought. "Alexis, I'd like you to meet my daughter, Arianna. Arianna this is Alexis."

Alexis blinked in shock and her mouth opened to from a perfect O. She took in the girl's appearance: blue eyes (that Beckett didn't have), brown hair, tall, and lean. Alexis closed her mouth a second later and blushed at her impoliteness. "Hi," she told the girl shyly. "I'm Alexis, like Kate said." She shrugged before whispering to the girl, "But you can call me Lex if you want to."

Arianna smiled shyly. "You can call me Ari, if you want."

"Cool," Alexis smiled at Kate, who glanced at her nervously.

"Are you guys hungry?" Beckett asked after a minute of silence.

Arianna nodded while Alexis agreed with a, "Yes." They sat down at the table and began to eat as Kate and Alexis started to talk about school and how it was going-Alexis was trying for her master's degree in literature because she wanted to be a college English teacher. They carefully scooted around Castle and Kyra until Kate spoke a simple statement.

"I'm actually surprised that you called me. I figured that you don't get much time wither your dad anymore since you moved out, and I figured that you would want to spend as much time with him as you can." She spoke.

Alexis shrugged.

"I'm sorry," Kate added, "I didn't mean to overstep."

"Don't worry," Alexis spoke reassuringly. After a moment she took a breath and spoke again, "It's just different, you know? Kyra is used to Dad, you know, before he was a dad and she's not used to me being around. Or sharing him. She…she doesn't get it. He and I were going out to lunch one day, but she tagged along. It was our me and him time. And she kept tagging along. Until I started cancelling. I tried to tell Dad this because he was hurt when I cancelled, but he kept making excuses for her. He didn't get it."

Alexis stared at her food. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have loaded that down on you."

"It's fine, Alexis, really. I'm glad you're comfortable enough to talk to me about it."

"Momma," Arianna spoke up. "May I be excused?"

Kate laughed as she looked at her daughter's plate, "Sure, honey, you can go."

"Thanks!" The girl shouted as she bolted out of her chair and down the hair to her bedroom.

"She's pretty," Alexis commented on the fleeing girl. Kate looked up from taking a bite of food.

The detective nodded, "Thanks."

"Who is her father, if you don't mind me asking?"

Kate gulped at this question. As she turned to Alexis with the story that she had told everyone, the words froze on her lips. She couldn't seem to lie to the girl. Knitted her eyebrows in confusion, she turned to Alexis. Swallowing, she opened her mouth again, but she couldn't seem to force the words out. Taking a breath, she finally said, "Do you really want to know the truth?"

Alexis squinted her eyes at this. "You tell me."

"No, Lex, I don't think you do. I don't think _I'm_ ready for you to."

The twenty-five year old stared at Kate. "Just tell me. Is she my dad's?"

Kate tensed and swallowed as she bit her lip. Thankfully for her Arianna came running down the hall to through herself in her mother's arms. "Can we get some cookies?" Arianna looked up at her mother with pleading blue eyes that resembled her father's and Kate looked to Alexis.

"Would you like some homemade chocolate chip cookies?"

"That'd be great. Dad and I used to bake some when I was little. That was a long time ago though." Alexis murmured more to herself than to them. Kate and Arianna went to get the cookies only to return a moment later. They ate the cookies in silence, and when Kate glanced at Alexis, she caught her studying Arianna. Studying the similarities between Arianna and Castle. Wondering if they were indeed father and daughter. And Kate knew from experience with Castle that Alexis wouldn't give up no matter how much she asked or begged her to until she figured out the truth.

"Hey, Arianna, why don't you go take your cookie and eat it in your room?" She told the four year old who was sitting in her lap.

"But Mommy," the girl argued. "You said that I shouldn't bring food to my room. Ever."

"Well, today is special." Kate stated. "Today you can. Just be careful."

"Okay," Arianna nodded before walking to her room.

Once Arianna had disappeared from view, Kate turned back to Alexis. "What would you do _if _she was your sister?" Kate asked, ignoring the fact that she was practically telling Alexis the truth.

The question clearly stumped Alexis so Kate waited patiently. A knock on the door interrupted the silence and Kate excused herself to answer it. "Hi," she opened the door to reveal a young man with flowers, "How can I help you?"

"Are you Katherine Beckett?" He asked.

"Yes…" she trailed off, confused.

"Well then," he handed her the bouquet of lilies that happened to be her favorite flower. "These are for you."

Kate smiled and thanked him before shutting the door. She placed the vase of flowers on the side table on her couch before looking for a card. Finding it, she read:

_Beckett,_

_We are sorry, but we will understand it you don't forgive us. _

_Ryan and Esposito_

Kate looked at the flowers. How did they know about lilies? Unless…Lanie was going to have a lot of explaining to do, along with the guys, but it was a pretty good start. They did truly sound sorry and even though they hurt her, she was going to do her best to forgive them. Even if it was really hard to do so. So caught up in her thoughts, she didn't even notice Alexis enter the room.

"I would like to get to know her," Alexis murmured, "If she was my sister. Teach her things that a sister would. Things like that." Kate frowned and looked away. It was going to be even harder to lie to her now. "So is she?"

The phone rang this time and Alexis let out a breath of exasperation. "Beckett," she answered.

"Hey, Beckett, I know you might not want to talk to me or Espo right now, but it's important. Castle just called me and he's freaking out. He can't find Alexis, Beckett. She's gone missing."

Kate laughed. "Tell him not to worry. She's fine."

"How do you know?"

"Because she's standing in my living room right now," Kate pressed the end button to her cell phone and placed it on the table beside her flowers. "You may want to call your dad. He's freaking out."

Alexis shrugged. "Whichever one of the guys that called you will reassure him that I'm fine."

"Alexis, is everything okay between you and your dad?"

"Yeah, it's no big deal really, but he's just been…different since he started seeing Kyra again."

Kate frowned. "I'm sorry."

Alexis shrugged, "You're deflecting."

"What? How did you know-?"

"I took a few psychological classes back in high school and college."

Beckett pressed her lips together.

"Kate, I have to know. Is she my sister or not?"

Kate opened her mouth.

"Please don't lie either. I deserve to get to know her."

The detective sighed. "You do."

"Wait, so she _is _my sister?"

"Look at her Alexis," Kate murmured. "She's practically your father's clone."

* * *

So, there it is ladies and gentlemen. Alexis knows, but the thing is will she tell Castle? Or does he already know himself? :) I hope that Alexis getting fed up is too out of character. I think it is, but when you really want to know something and someone interrupts you or stalls I get fed up. I don't know about ya'll, I'm just speaking from personal experience. And I'm not too sure about this Kyra or Castle that I've written Alexis talking about. Please help with this!

Thanks for all the reviews! :)


	6. A Knock Sounded On The Door

**Previously: **

"She's practically his clone."

* * *

**Chapter Five:**

Kate's admission caused Alexis lose her breath in shock.

"Arianna's my sister?" She asked.

Alexis knew from before she asked that question that it was a strong possibility that she was, but she hadn't really ever thought about it actually being true. _What was going to happen now? _She wondered. Was Kate going to let her spend time with her? Of course, Alexis thought that Kate would, but how long was it going to last until Kate got tired of her coming around all the time?

"I," she gulped, "have a sister?" Sure, the girl had always wanted a sibling, but she had never, especially as her father and mother aged, truly expected to get one. She broke out into a smiled.

Kate stared at the ground. "Yes, you do."

_Wait, _she thought suddenly. That meant that her father and Kate had well, gotten together, and to be frank, it hurt that her father had never told her. Not that they had had sex of course because that would have been disgusting, but that her father had acted like nothing serious had ever gone on between the two.

Was that why he was so torn up after he decided to quit following her? Or did Kate decide that after she had gotten pregnant? Or did he even know about this other child at all. It didn't seem like him to not be around Arianna or anything, but what if Kate, and this was a big _if _because Kate didn't seem like that type of person, didn't want her kid to be around the spotlight and everything so she doesn't let him see her?

Alexis finally decided on one question.

"Does Dad, well, does he well, _know?_"The twenty-five year old questioned. "But wouldn't…wouldn't he have told me if he did?" Her voice cracked, seemingly wounded.

"No," Beckett told her quietly. "Castle doesn't know."

Alexis nodded thoughtfully as she took everything in.

"I'm sorry, Alexis, I really am, but it's just…the entire thing is complicated." Kate grimaced as she spoke. "I made a mistake. A big mistake. I know that. You should have had the right to get to know her earlier, but it was hard…everything was hard." Kate looked at the shocked expression on Alexis' face. "You didn't even know about me and Castle," she forced his name out, "did you?"

"No," Alexis murmured, feeling her anger at her father build up. "No, I didn't."

"You won't tell…?" Kate trailed off, looking scared and unsure.

"Tell him?" Alexis surmised; her tone of voice almost angry. "No, I won't tell him."

Kate looked shocked at this and Alexis wasn't too surprised at her reaction. Kate tilted her head to the side thoughtfully for a minute before straightening it and asking, "You won't? I thought you and your dad were close."

"Were close, Kate," the younger woman spoke almost regretfully; the anger that she had a moment later diminished. "Were."

"Alexis, I didn't mean to-"

"No, you didn't do anything, Kate. I should have known this was coming for a while. Dad and I couldn't _always _be so close. It was just wishful thinking on my part." Her tone was wistful. "Naïveté on my part," she added.

"I'm sorry."

Alexis nodded.

"Are you going to tell Arianna that I'm her sister?" She spoke again after a minute.

"No, at least, not at first, she's smart. I'm sorry." Kate took a deep breath. "She'll ask about her dad. I'm not ready to answer those questions yet."

"What ever happened between you two?" Alexis asked quietly.

Kate's bottom lip trembled slightly, but it went unnoticed by Alexis. "I'll tell you sometime." She spoke.

Alexis nodded before glancing at the clock on one of the walls in Kate's living room. "I have to go, Kate. Tonight was actually kind of fun…if you exclude all the tense conversation." She smiled kindly. "I'd like to do it again sometime. You know, get together."

"Me too," Beckett replied. "Are you mad?"

"Yes," Alexis replied honestly. "Though mostly at my dad," she shrugged. "I don't know what they were, but you had your reasons for doing what you did. At some time you must have thought that you were doing the best thing by raising her alone. I respect that, Kate. You did a great job raising her." She patted Kate's arm.

"Thanks, Lex. That's means a lot to here you say that."

"Can I go say goodbye?" She asked.

"First room on the right," Kate told her, and Alexis left only to return a few minutes later. Alexis smiled at Kate.

"She introduced me to her stuffed animals. They have very interesting names." They both laughed.

"Yes," Kate agreed. "Ari has a very good imagination, and she's very serious about her animals' names."

"Like our dad. I mean, he had a great imagination."

Kate looked away while too many sudden, unwelcomed memories clouded her mind. Castle and his imagination. She gulped. _Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry,_ she chanted to herself. "He does."

"He broke your heart, didn't he?" Alexis whispered. Even though she had thought all this time that it was actually the other way around.

Kate bit her lip. "I did."

A sudden knock on the door interrupted the silence and Beckett excused herself to go answer it. Kate opened it to reveal a person that she hadn't seen in years. A person that broke her heart. A person that was now engaged to another woman. Shocked, she widened her eyes and let out a gasp. "Castle!" she exclaimed.

After a moment in which she composed herself, she asked, "How do you know my address?"

"I have my contacts." He told her and she flinched at the sound of his voice. It was just like in her dreams or rather nightmares. But thankfully, he was oblivious from her reaction because he was too busy frantically scanning the room behind her. "The guys told me Alexis was here."

"She is." Kate murmured and opened the door more to reveal Alexis, who walked over behind Kate with a shocked expression on her face.

"Dad?" she screeched, shocked. "What are you doing here?"

"You didn't answer your phone and you've been gone for hours." He glanced back and forth between the two. "I was worried."

"So?" She exclaimed. "You didn't have to send the whole police force on a manhunt to find me."

Castle slid by Kate to stand in front of Alexis. "You didn't tell me where you went."

"I'm twenty-five." She argued. "I don't _have _to, but you didn't have to send Esposito and Ryan on a manhunt because my phone was on silent."

"I can't help it, Lex."

She visibly flinched at the nickname, and Castle took a step back in horror. "I feel like I don't know who you are anymore."

Alexis avoided his intense gaze. "The feeling is mutual."

"Alexis!" he exclaimed, shocked. "I thought that since your apartment building was having renovations done and you were staying me that things would be like old times."

"Well," her bottom lip shook, but Castle didn't seem to notice. "They're not."

"Is this about Kyra?" He asked and Kate flinched again at the caring tone in his voice when he said her name.

Alexis threw her hands up in frustration. Once hearing the unfamiliar man's voice, Arianna came out of her room and walked down the hall cautiously. Her mother had taught her well. "Mom?" she asked carefully when she saw Rick.

Rick gasped and Kate winced. Oh, this was hell in the making. _Oh, God, _she thought. "What is it, honey?" She asked and out of the corner of her eye she saw Rick looking back and forth between the two rapidly.

"Detective Beckett?" he finally addressed her personally. "Who's this?"

"Castle," she forced his name out ignoring the shiver of pain that ran threw her at the sound of his name. She bit back a wince as pan surged through her. God, she knew why people never fell in love now or even wanted to. It was too painful. Love hurts everyone inevitably. "I'd like you to meet Arianna, my daughter."

"Your…your daughter?" he choked out. Kate thought she saw a flash of hurt pass over his face, but she wasn't sure.

Kate nodded. "Arianna, this is Richard Castle, Alexis' dad," _and your dad too, _she added silently in her head. Castle's eyes widened as he most likely recognized her familiar blue eyes and she caught Alexis' eyes.

This was huge...

This was horrible...

* * *

So, Castle and Arianna meet. What do ya'll think will happen next? I'm sorry, once again, if any of the characters aren't exactly in character, but this chapter was harder than the others to write. I wasn't going to introduce Castle until much later, but somehow I soon found myself writing 'A knock on the door' where Castle was soon introduced. I figured 'hey, well he's worried and freaked out because he and Alexis are having problems. So he wants to investigate if she was okay for himself.' Then this is where the chapter came to.

Thanks for the reviews! Please keep them up! :)

Oh, and I do know that this chapter is shorter than the others, but once again, it was meant to be a type of cliffhanger. Another chapter will be up on Monday! I promise. :)


	7. You Made A Mental Note To Kill Alexis

**Important Notice: **Now in the 'you' POV.

* * *

"Hi," Castle's voice interrupted your thoughts of panic. You swallow as you watch Castle carefully examine your daughter. _He's smart, _you tell yourself. _He's going to notice their similarities. _You feel Arianna move behind you shyly and grab a hold to your leg tightly. You pat her back reassuringly as if your insides haven't turned to mush. As you concentrate on your breathing and keeping your expression neutral, you vaguely notice Castle's eyes dart to your face. For a moment, it's almost like you are the only two people in the room until you feel Arianna tugging at your shirt. You look at her and let out a breath that you didn't even notice you had been holding.

Because that's the kind of affect that Castle has on you.

"Yes, sweetie?" you ask her and you notice fear in her eyes. Someone being scared of Castle makes you want to laugh. _Castle couldn't hurt a fly, _you think immediately before your mind goes back to that time in that warehouse where the Nikki Heat serial killer was holding the gun over your head. You remember the panic in his voice and then a moment later a gunshot goes off and you shut your eyes expecting to feel intense pain somewhere in your body, but when you don't you open your eyes to realize that Castle had shot the psycho in his hand. You vaguely remember saying something about Castle's 'one hell of a shot' until he tells you that he was aiming for the killer's head.

It takes you a minute to realize that he had just made a joke.

"Can I go back to play in my room?" she asks you in a small voice and you find yourself smiling at your daughter. Your daughter. It still surprises you do this day that you're a mom. A mom. A wider grin appears on your face. You nod, too caught up in the moment to reply. You have these moments of extreme disbelief often: these moments where you can't believe your good fortune because you have a beautiful, intelligent, and healthy daughter. You know so well to not take that for granted. You almost have to with your job…and your past. You took advantage and didn't ever give enough thanks for your mother. A few years after that you made sure to thank God for everything. You had stopped that when you met Castle, and you once again began to take advantage of seeing him daily.

And then you lost him.

But not really lost him. Sure, he was gone from your life, but not like your mother. Thank Heavens for that. You don't think that you could have ever handled his death. Even if you had caught his killer, you wouldn't have been able to get over it…ever. It was a week after the first time you and he, well, got together. It was your last case together. You remember. You had told him to stay put in your vehicle (yes, you still did that even though he never listened). But, of course, he didn't. The suspect had a gun in hand, you remember. You were trying to talk him down as Ryan and Esposito watched. He was about to give it to you when Castle burst through the door of the apartment being his regular self. Except, for some reason, he hadn't put on his vest. To this day, you still don't know why.

You were watching him angrily and you didn't even notice the gunman snatch the gun from your hands and aim it at him. You saw what was happening but it was too late. The gun went off as you rushed to push Castle out the way. A bullet hit you in your side as you shoved Castle out the way, you recall, but it didn't bother you. You barely even felt it because of the sheer adrenaline coursing through your veins. You only know about it was because you had a bruise the next day. Castle, for some reason, crumpled under you and you fell on top of him. He was lying on his back so you quickly moved to turn him over worriedly. You almost expect him to make a joke, but when he doesn't you know something serious was up. Behind you, you here Ryan and Esposito shoot the gunman because out of the corner of your eye you watch him crumple to the ground.

The same exact way Castle had beneath you.

You look down immediately. You gasp when you see blood covering your hands and you examine yourself for marks, scratches anything that would cause that much blood. Then you saw him. The suspect must have fired two shots. One impacted Castle in his side and blood was rushing out onto the floor, and he was unconscious. You're taking your jacket off to cover the wound before you realize it and behind you you hear Esposito yelling 'officer down' into his radio while Ryan rushed to your side. The paramedics along with some back up (_too late_, you recall thinking). As the paramedics loaded Castle onto a stretcher, you notice that you holding onto his hand tightly. As they leave the apartment, you hear someone sniffle. It's not until Ryan and Esposito escort you to the hospital that you realize that that someone was you. You remember thinking about how pale he was as Alexis and Martha arrived and how that was the longest you remember him not speaking.

That thought makes you cry even more, and at that moment you wish for nothing more than to hear his voice again. You promise God that if he's okay, you will never fuss at him for annoying you anymore, but you break that promise two weeks later when he finally wakes up. A month later when you visit him at home, he's begging you to take him back out into the field. That's when it starts. You start to push him away because you know even if it hurts you both, it's the best thing to do. You don't want to see him injured anymore because he's following you around. You don't want to see another girl hurt because of the loss of a parent. But still it does hurt when he finally gives up everything six weeks later you remember not getting out of bed for a week after getting the call from the Captain.

The next month, after finally going back to work, you collapse and you were rushed to the hospital. The doctor comes in an hour later and asks everyone to leave. You remember Lanie refusing to go and you begging him tiredly to let her stay. You find out that you collapsed because of high blood pressure.

And you find out that your three and a half months pregnant.

You know that you will never forget the look on Lanie's face the moment the doctor gave you the news. He puts you on bed rest for a few days so there won't be any chance of miscarriage. You remember biting his head off when he asks you if you want an abortion. But you don't remember telling Castle the news because you didn't. By that time the press had finally gotten over 'Caskett' the name for you and Castle and pictures started showing up about him and another woman. You didn't want to ruin his chance with her and you wanted to make a clean break so you don't tell him.

A day later Lanie finally lectures you enough that you tell her about your one night with Castle. She scolds you at first until you make a joke about how good Castle must be because he got you pregnant in one night (and you used a condom). Or you tried to make a joke about that. You end up bursting into tears that you blame on hormones. Lanie, thankfully, says nothing about it just holds you until your tears stop. You cried a lot in those nine months and in the months following them too.

A week later after you're cleared to return to work, you march into the Captain's office and tell him you're pregnant. He raises his eyebrows and asks if you're sure before wrapping you into a hug. You thank him while blinking the tears away, and he never asks you about the baby's father. You love him even more for that. Esposito and Ryan were obviously spying on you (because you didn't bother to shut the curtains) and immediately pounced on you about the hug. Esposito jokingly asked you if you knew that the Captain was married and you slapped him on his arm in response. You then walk over to your desk intent on doing paperwork until you notice them lurking behind you. "I'm pregnant." You speak to them quietly never looking up once.

You were baggy clothes to work for months, successfully covering the pregnancy. In your ninth month, you finally give in and announce to the precinct about your pregnancy. Thankfully, it never gets out into the press. Well, it did to one magazine, but then Esposito and Ryan paid them a visit successfully destroying that article. Finally, on May the twenty-first, you give birth. She was two weeks early. It took you a month to finally come up with a name you like. Arianna Brielle. You decide that you must come up with a middle name that starts with a B because even though you know she will never have the surname 'Castle' she will always be one to you. You tell Lanie your idea and you both get a laugh out of it. She's the only one who knows your baby's true paternity even though Esposito and Ryan know of your one-night-stand and suspect he's her father (you never tell them for sure though). Guys can't keep secrets.

Your little ABC.

Footsteps that belong to your daughter interrupt your thoughts and you blink to watch her bounce down the hall to her bedroom. You turn back to Castle and a tension filled silence envelopes the air. Alexis' eyes dart back and forth in between the two of you nervously. You feel the same way. "Um…you know, I'm going to go play with her." She murmurs after a minute and leaves the two of them alone.

You know that you need to say something, but your throat tightens and you can't. You swallow nervously, trying to get rid of the lump in it. "So," Castle speaks finally and you find yourself holding your breath waiting for his next words. "Who's the lucky guy?" He finally finishes and you feel a swarm of dizziness come over you. You realize that you're suffocating yourself so you exhale, but it's a little too sharp and it causes Castle's eyes to dart to your face instantly.

You make a mental note to kill Alexis when you get a minute alone with her.

* * *

So, I hope that this chapter explains some of your questions. :) And I hope that it's not too out of character. I mean Beckett _was _just trying to protect Castle. Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews!

And I wonder what Beckett's response is going to be. :)


	8. Those Familiar Blue Eyes

**Author's Note: **I apologize to anyone I've confused with the POV f the last chapter. I've gotten both positive and negative reviews on it, but the negative reviews outweigh the positive so I'm switching back. :) I had just wanted to try something else out, and I did, but since ya'll don't like it I'm changing it back to the third person POV.

Thanks to all the reviewers of this last chapter! :)

* * *

**Chapter Seven: **

She's not the one who got away, he continuously tells himself because in saying that he indicates that she was once his to begin with. But no, she was never anyone's especially not his.

Despite the one night that happened between them.

He's yearned for it.

He's wished about it.

He's written about it.

He's dreamed about it.

No matter how many times he does any of those things she was never and will never be his. Once upon a time, he had thought she was. That was after the one breathtaking, indescribable night that they had shared together. That morning, he remembered, wasn't at all awkward as each of the two had been expecting it to be. It was natural, almost, he recalled. That heated night had meant so much to him, more than she would _ever _know, especially now. He had thought that it was the beginning of something huge, for the both of them. He was positive that he was head over heels for her, and he had thought that she felt the same for him.

Thought.

He had never felt like that towards a woman before. Not towards Meredith, the mother of his child, Gina, a marriage of convenience and the person he hoped would be good for his young daughter, and not even Kyra, the supposed 'one who got away' whom he was currently engaged to. Beckett was stimulating, and not just in the erotic sense of the word. She was inspiring, challenging, and captivating. Different from any woman that he had met before. Beckett was extraordinary, as he had once put in the dedication for one of his Nikki Heat novels.

Though long finished by this point, they were his most successful series even more popular than Derrick Storm, which shocked him thoroughly. It almost seemed as if the world was as captivated by Nikki Heat as he was by Beckett. For once, he had considered his life perfect. But, as always, something had to happen, and this happened in a plain way. None of them had suspected that anything was going to happen or that anything was going to change, but it did. Everything did.

And it was all because of that one stupid case.

It didn't seem to be a huge deal. Beckett had gotten the call that another body had dropped later that morning; he had just finished making pancakes. He remembered that she had laughed when she had awoken to find him in her kitchen, setting her table. It was almost like déjà vu, except almost everything was different. Thankfully, as Beckett had voiced, there hadn't been a body at the door when he went to get the paper and no one from the precinct was there laughing and making jokes. She had dropped him off at his apartment to get a change of clothes and he had followed soon after to the crime scene.

They had decided to have the 'talk' once the case was finished.

It was no different from other cases, yet he had this strange feeling in his stomach. He had disregarded it almost immediately as nerves from his newest romance. It was a strangulation. Nothing too scary or strange for him or Beckett, they did love those 'freaky' ones. The only thing that had bothered him was Beckett acting indifferent towards him. Once he had confronted her on it, she had been apologetic about it by saying that they should act normal until they had a chance to talk about it. She didn't want the guys interfering with their jokes and rags until they had gotten everything straight between them. She was right, as always. So he had. He had made his jokes and continued with his regular antics: following Beckett around like a lost puppy, coming up with his crazy theories, and such.

A day later, they had no new leads. Then, they had gotten a call in about a second body.

They had gone to that crime scene and the M.O. was the same. Strangulation by a black, ladies' hose, but this time CSU had found some blood near the victim. It was apparent that the victim had fought back and slashed the killer with what seemed to be a missing lamp shade. The killer had tried to clean it up with Clorox, and on the white carpet it wasn't evident unless you took a black light to it. But luckily for them, the killer had missed a spot.

On the third day, they had retrieved DNA from it. He had been almost shaking with anticipation as they flew to the killer or suspect's apartment; however you choose to look at it. Not because of the case, of course, of his and Beckett's upcoming 'talk.' But thankfully, the guys hadn't suspected anything. They had just assumed that the duo was just ready for this case to be over, as they were.

Beckett had ordered him to stay in the car, as always, but, as always, he didn't.

He had waited a few seconds after she was out of sight before he popped the truck to get his vest on, just in case. Castle had opened the truck and reached towards the space where his vest usually was, not bothering to look.

But all he grasped was empty air.

He had looked down then, confused. Until he remembered. Beckett's usual police car was in the shop a week before. He had overheard the Captain mentioning something to someone about 'shot breaks' which he only remembered because he had later picked on her about that. She had took it with her usual eye roll and a 'maybe if I didn't have an frustrating writer annoying and _distracting _me when I'm driving…then I wouldn't have to slam on the brakes all the time, and if this wasn't New York City…' Castle had wiggled his eyebrows in response and asked how he had distracted her. She had walked away. But back to the original subject, she had been using a temporary replacement that he had probably left the jacket in.

Castle shrugged in response before jogging up the stairs to the suspect's room. After all, he didn't have any registered guns or anything. Plus, Beckett would protect him. He had thought about how if anyone was going to shoot him, it would be her. Probably after he had made an inappropriate comment or too about 'hitting that.' He could imagine that. As he started on stairwell leading to the eighth floor he had cursed that apartment building for not having an elevator. As he opened the door to the eighth floor hallway, he had made two mental notes. One was that he needed to start going to the gym. He was _so _not in shape. The other was to retrieve his jacket. He was puffing when he made it to the door. Castle had paused there until he regained his breath. He didn't want Beckett to see him like that.

After a few moments of heavy breathing, he had opened the door slowly. Beckett's livid face was the first thing he saw. She suddenly got a panicked look on her face and she whipped her face around to the killer. Then he had seen why. The killer was aiming a gleaming black gun in his direction. His brain hadn't even had time to register it when he heard it go off. He had jerked back as it hit him and he felt a blur hit him in the side, and he tumbled to the ground.

The blur was Beckett, he soon realized. She had fallen on top of him. She was moving around alarmingly probably trying to locate the killer's presence. He tried to open his mouth to tell her that he had been hit, but the words would come out. As more pain set in, he lost consciousness. She was the last thing on his mind as the world turned black.

Castle had woken again seemingly on seconds later to him. He soon realized that it was longer than that as he was blurs of walls and people pass by. As his vision cleared, he realized that he was lying on a gurney in what must have been a hospital. Doctors stood over him and he realized that they were rushing him down the hall. His abdomen throbbed and he felt someone putting pressure on his. To minimize the blood loss, he realized. That must be why his head felt so light and fuzzy. He was losing blood. Lots of blood.

As they turned down another corridor, he heard people talking to him. He could distinguish the words they spoke though, but he recognized one feminine voice. Beckett, he realized. He snatched his head around anxiously to locate her. Once he did, he realized that she was grasping his hand. Tears streamed down her face and she was covered in what must have been his blood. He internally frowned. Was he doing that to her? He didn't want her to hurt.

Castle opened his mouth to tell her that, but she covered it with her empty hand. She opened her mouth talking to him. They words were jumbled and he struggled to understand them. He wanted to hear what she was saying. Her voice cracked on a word, and he squeezed her hand. It must be really hard for her, he realized.

She had already been through something like that with her mother.

He had fiercely scolded himself at that thought. He shouldn't be comparing himself to her dead mother. That wasn't right, especially when he wasn't even sure how deep her feelings were towards him. They must be deep, he thought, because of that broken look on her face. He felt his eyelids drooping slightly and he struggled to keep them open. He didn't want to turn away from her face.

"I'm t'red." He murmured. Thankfully he understood the words. His voice was hoarse and it hurt to talk.

Kate bit her lips as she frowned and fresh tears flowed down her face. "No," she murmured. "Stay with me, Castle. Don't leave me too."

_Too, _he realized. Maybe his thoughts weren't so off. It was strange seeing her like this though. He didn't like it one bit. He was used to calm, collected, always serious Beckett. The one with the safely guarded walls, who rarely let emotions out. This Beckett was just strange.

"'s okay," he murmured. His eyelids drooped some more. He was so sleepy. So tired and dizzy. He just wanted to… _Focus, _he told himself. "Just goin' t' sleep. Be 'ere when I wake up, 'kay?" His attempt at a question fell flat.

His eyelids drooped some more as he awaited her response. As she finally nodded, he slowly allowed them to close. The last thing that he saw was the broken look on her face.

He had woken the third time to find himself lying in a hospital bed. His abdomen throbbed a little, but not much. _They must have given me morphine, _he thought. That was why his head was still fuzzy. He moved his arm to stretch only to wince when he realized that there was a needle in it. He looked up to find that it was attached to an IV. He frowned. He hated needles.

Castle looked down was he felt a slight pressure on his right palm. Beckett was sitting in the chair beside his bed grasping his hand. Her head was on the empty space beside his leg facing towards him, hair sprayed out across the sheets. She was asleep. He could tell from the peaceful expression on her face and the occasional light snore that left her lips. He smiled. She had kept her promise. Lightly, Castle moved hair from her face before stroking her head lightly.

Alexis had come in a moment later and her eyes widened happily when she saw that he was awake. His mother soon followed in behind her and Castle held a finger to his lips. Alexis had bounced over to his left side and sat in the unoccupied chair on that side of him. Martha sat on the chair beside her. They talked quietly for a few minutes before Martha left to go get the doctor. It didn't go unnoticed by either woman that Castle didn't release Beckett's hand.

Beckett had woken soon though, after the doctor had come in to check him out. She had smiled at him happily once realizing that he was awake. She had blushed nervously though when she had noticed that she was holding his hand. She had left soon afterwards to let them had some alone time. Castle had begun to object until his mother shushed him.

Once they were alone, he discovered that Beckett had rarely left his side since the shooting that happened twelve days before.

As he recovered, Beckett started to visit him less and less, but she still came. Sometimes in the mornings, the nurse had told him that she had visited him that night. Then that soon became a regular occurrence. She would visit him at night. He tried to stay awake waiting for her, but he always found himself too tired to do so. He had begun getting strange twangs in his stomach when he thought of her.

Once he was released, she had visited him at home one day. He noticed that she was becoming more and more distant towards him. Beckett also began to act as if nothing was going on between them and that nothing had ever happened. Being too frightened of what she might say, he didn't mention it. It was probably only end up hurting him more anyway. Six weeks after he was released. Two and a half months after he was shot, she had visited him one night. Finally having enough with her attitude, he had confronted her.

_They were watching a movie together. He couldn't remember the name because he was only pretending to watch it while he was deciding what to say to her. When he couldn't come up with anything else, he turned to her. She was on a loveseat across the room from him. He was on the sofa. "What's going on?" He had asked. Beckett had looked like she was completely enthralled with the movie, but he wasn't buying it. It was an act, he realized. She was good, but not _that _good. _

_"What?" One of her brows rose imitating perfect innocence. _

_He had bit back a sigh. He wasn't getting anywhere and she didn't look like she was about to divulge any information. "I want to go back to work." _

_By 'work' he meant her work. _

_"Castle," she had spoken his voice with a sigh. "We've discussed-"_

_He pulled a piece of paper out from under him and tossed it in her direction. It had landed on the coffee table in front of him, "Official document from my doctor." _

_She had frowned at that before standing. She stretched once she stood and a tiny sliver of her stomach peeked out from beneath her shirt. Was it just him or did she seem a little chubbier than usual? Probably just him and after all it was a good thing that she had put on a little weight. She had needed it. _

He tensed at the memory. He tried to mentally calculate Beckett's daughter's age. She seemed about five. Was she already pregnant with her back then? She must have been. Oh, God, was she sleeping with someone then? Was that why she had been so reserved? Did she feel guilty that she didn't return his feelings?

That must have been the case.

Castle tried to think of how far along Meredith was with Alexis when she had begun to show. Right around twelve weeks, he thought. So, two and a half months…

Wait, every muscle in his body froze. Those familiar blue eyes… They were most definitely _not _Beckett's. But could it be… Wouldn't she have told him?

Beckett's daughter couldn't be his daughter too could she?

* * *

So, this chapter is a little different. Being entirely in Castle's point of view instead of Beckett's or someone else's. I hope that the shooting isn't repetitive. I just wanted to show what was going on with Castle during everything. So I had originally written this chapter a few days ago, but it was deleted by mistake before I could post it. And my computer couldn't recover it. I almost cried. Seriously. I loved it, but it was much, much, _much _shorter than this one. Only around two thousand words.

Please tell me what you think about this chapter!

Oh, and should Castle find out in the next chapter or should I drag it out a bit? ;-) The next post will probably be on Monday, but no promises.

BTW: This is the longest chapter so far! :)


	9. First Page Story

**Author's Note: **Oh, my gosh, I got much, much, _much _more feedback on the last chapter than I _ever _expected to. Ya'll are like the best people in the world right now. Seriously. No joke. I'm so sorry about lying to ya'll in the last chapter about posting it on Monday. Because it's now Tuesday. It was about nine-thirty last night when I got back in from volleyball. We have a hectic schedule this week because our first game is in like two weeks! I'm so excited, and nervous. Anyway, I checked my BlackBerry mail after practice and I had gotten a response from the people I sent it out to. I didn't really want to edit it last night (I was sleepy), so I did so this morning. Thankfully, they didn't think it was as bad as I thought it was.

So, thanks you so much Alexandra (I hope you don't mind me posting your name, if you do, e-mail me and fuss at me and I'll remove it ASAP because I meant to ask you about it, but I forgot) and hallow777! Seriously, my favorite people in the whole wide world right now. No friggin' joke. Sorry, I just had to type 'friggin''. :)

And thanks to all the people who reviewed, offering to help or just sending their support:

**Eliza C.  
****edinuzzo  
****Caffeine-Faerie **(Love your username, BTW)  
**Burn3  
****Annie  
****bones15svu  
****LuLu226 **(Your review was awesome by the way. :) Loved it)  
**agent101  
****whatarushh**

And to the people who messaged me about it:

**biglaughslaura  
****TappinCastlefan  
****gilmoradict  
****hallow777  
****Migalouch  
****Alexandra**

Okay, now that I'm done with that, here's chapter eight (as I prefer to look at it):

* * *

**Chapter 8: **

Biting his tongue to stop the question from leaving his mouth, Castle stared at Kate, examining her. Watching her. He noticed her shiver, but didn't make any outward reaction about it. Why was she so nervous? He couldn't help but wonder. Was it because it was him just staring at her as if she was the only person in the world or because she thought that he was figuring out her secret? He almost hoped that it was the first reason just so he wouldn't be so embarrassed about his feelings. After all, they were unreasonable. Who still had feelings for a person they hadn't seen in almost six years. She couldn't even be considered one of his ex's! The latter reason he wouldn't mind too much either. Of course, he would be _extremely _upset and angry that she kept their daughter from him, but, even though it would be hard, he would get over that eventually. After all, what else could he do? If he wanted to be involved in Arianna's life, if he was the father, he would have to put up with her mother. Even if said mother had kept a life-altering secret from him. Plus, he would _love _to have another daughter. Cherish it even.

But suddenly he realized that even if he wasn't Arianna's father he would love her because she was _Beckett's_.

When did he become _that _kind of person?

But, in reality, the possibility of Arianna not being his didn't really cross his mind. Neither did the third possibility that she had just shivered because of his intense gaze. That it wasn't because she still had feelings for him or because he was her daughter's father. He didn't really prefer that choice though so he pushed it to the dark part of his mind where he only kept bad thoughts and such.

He tried to find the words that would make the question easier to say. Tried. In the end, he just ended up blurting the first string of words that came to his mind out to her before he could lose his nerve. "Is she mine?"

Obviously, he could have waited a bit until Beckett became a little more comfortable with him being in her apartment. He could have thought of another, better worded question. He should have, after all he _was _a best-selling author. If any of his writer friends had ever discovered his slip, it would be extremely embarrassing. He would have to put up with the jokes for months. Well, maybe not. They weren't as bad as him. But in this situation, he figured that any person would be tongue-tied. Even best-selling authors, like himself. After all, it wasn't like discovering that a person had a daughter who they never had heard about before was an everyday occurrence.

_This is worse than One Life to Live, _he couldn't stop from thinking.

_You're getting ahead of yourself. _Castle thought. Because if he got his hopes up about having another child (especially with Beckett as her mother) and Arianna turned out to not be his, it would break his heart. What if Beckett had just gotten together with someone around the time they got together with his eyes? _Too coincidental, _the cop inside him spoke.

He watched Kate's reaction for any slip that would tell him what the answer was, but there was none. Not even shock, which told him that she had been preparing herself for the question. But why had she been preparing for it? As he began to think of the reasons why, a scream sounded from down the hall. Kate's face became one of panic as bounded down the hall towards what must have been her daughter's bedroom. He followed her immediately.

Walking into the room, he took in the pink walls, the tall white canopy bed which had a stool beside it so Arianna could get in. The room was organized. It had a tall white bookshelf that was full of books. Opposite of it, a Barbie dream house sat. Barbies of all shapes, colors, and sizes surrounded it. Finally his eyes landed on Arianna. He examined her quickly to try and find why she screamed. Then he saw why. Alexis was cradling Arianna's arm in her hands. Castle bit back a wince as Arianna's arm protruded in an unnatural way as Arianna, with her other arm, reached out for her mother. "What happened?" Beckett murmured to Alexis as she wrapped her arms around her crying daughter.

Alexis blinked quickly. "I…I don't' know. I had gone to the bathroom. I rushed in here after I heard her scream."

"I was fixing the curtains," Arianna told them, choking back tears, while looking up to the large canopy bed. The canopy bed's curtains drooped to the ground. She admitted that guiltily and Castle wondered why. "I know you told me not to, but," she looked to Castle. "I didn't want to bother you, and Alexis was in the bathroom and I figured that I could do it by myself." She hiccupped. "Then a slipped, and…and I tried to catch myself, but I just…" She sniffled. "I didn't mean to rip them, Mommy."

Kate sighed. "I don't care about the curtains, but we need to get you to the hospital." Kate seemed to be avoiding looking at her daughter's broken arm and Castle didn't blame her. It was looking pretty bad. It was turning colors already. The detective extracted herself from her daughter's embrace before being to struggle to pick Arianna up without bothering her injured arm.

"Here," Castle stepped up beside her. Picking the girl up in his arms bridal style, Castle carried the girl to Beckett's car which was parked in the parking garage behind Beckett's apartment building. Or beside, it depended on how someone would look at it. Castle easily put Arianna into her car seat and buckled her in. He briefly thought of how natural it seemed as he turned around to see Beckett staring at him.

He wondered if she felt the same way he did.

"Thank you, Castle," Kate murmured and she toyed with her hair nervously.

"I'm coming with you." He told her.

She blinked, obviously not suspecting his statement. "But…but..." she struggled to think of a viable excuse for him _not _to go.

"I'm going. Can I ride with you or do I have to go get my car?"

Her mouth formed an oval and Castle was hit with a déjà vu. Her browed scrunched in concentration. "I'm sure you have something else to do, Castle. I can handle taking my daughter to the hospital."

She was so caught up by Castle that she didn't notice Alexis opening the back seat door opposite of where Arianna was.

He shrugged. "You know you want to sit with Arianna in the back." He motioned to where Alexis was standing. "Now, do you want me to drive or Alexis to?"

Kate gulped, trying to think of something to say. Finally understanding that arguing wouldn't help, she reluctantly got her keys out of her pocket and handed them to Castle. Castle didn't smile, but he did look triumphant. "Thanks, Beckett." He murmured to her.

Castle slid in the front seat of her Yukon as Kate walked around to slide into the back with her daughter. Alexis took a seat in the front with her father.

None of them were aware of the paparazzi in the shadows, watching them and taking pictures. Once they were out of sight, he withdrew his phone from his pocket and began to dial a familiar number.

After the person answered, he spoke, "You won't believe what I saw." He waited a moment. "I just got a first page story right here."

* * *

So, I hoped you liked it. And thanks again to everyone. :)


	10. Father: Empty

**Chapter Nine: **

As Castle speeds through the busy streets of New York, rushing to get to the all too familiar emergency room, Arthur Reagan, a reporter from Starr Magazine, talks to his boss on the phone. "You know how we were putting Martina Regal on tomorrow's cover. That's out. I have something way bigger than her four week jail episode."

His impatient boss yelled from the other side, "What's bigger than that? It better be good."

Arthur smiled mischievously. "Have you ever heard of Richard Castle?" It was a dumb, useless question, he knew, but he couldn't stop himself from asking.

"Arthur!" his boss warned.

"What about a 'Katherine Beckett'?" he looked down on his sheet of notes. That was her name, right? Yeah, it was.

Short lived silence was his answer at first. "She…she was Castle's muse, right?" It was the first time that Arthur had ever heard his boss ask someone else if something was right before. Usually, he just said what he thought, even if it was completely untrue.

Arthur's face lit up with a grin, and he began walking towards his mother's Taurus that he was using because his car was in the shop. He slid in, frowning slightly. He hated this car and it was an embarrassment to ride in it, but he didn't have another choice. It wasn't exactly in his budget to get a rental. "Oh, I think she was a _little _more than a muse, if you get what I'm saying."

"Arthur, do you have a point? Kate Beckett was ten years ago!"

"What if she's the mother to Castle's kid?"

A gasp sounded on the other side and Arthur smiled again. He succeeded in what he was hoping to do: surprise his unsurprisable boss.

"Are you sure?"

Well, no. But when were magazine reporters ever sure? Then again, the kid sure did look like both of the adults with them. Why else would Castle come here? Unless to see his kid. And if it wasn't theirs, who cares? Magazines get the wrong information all the time. "Pretty sure," Arthur finally answered.

He could sense his boss's frown. "I don't want 'pretty sure', Reagan, I want there to be _no _doubt. I don't want to be another one of those untrustworthy magazines. I mean, look at Sparkle," he spoke, referring to Starr's main magazine rival, "They have true facts in it."

Arthur bit back a sigh. "I'll go to the courthouse to see if I can find a record of birth for the kid."

-oOo-

By the time they had arrived at the hospital, Arianna's arm had swollen twice its normal size and had turned into a rainbow of colors: blue, black, and even purple. Castle could tell that Beckett was doing everything she could to avoid looking at it directly. Castle helped Arianna out of the car-she was crying too much to walk-and carried her into the emergency room. Kate and Alexis were right beside him. Castle went to sit with Arianna in the waiting and tried to calm her down as Beckett went to the desk.

Alexis seemed unsure of what to do, so she lingered by Beckett's side. Kate got some forms to fill out, and they both went to sit down beside Castle. Kate's leg bounced anxiously as she tried to fill out the forms, but she was shaking too much to do so. Alexis took them from her and began to fill them out quickly, "Thanks," Beckett told her before turning to her little girl. Grasping her uninjured arm, Kate rubbed it reassuringly. "Hey," she wiped the tears away that fell from Arianna's eyes. "Shh, it's going to be okay, but you're going to get a cast put on for a while, all right?"

Arianna nodded and sniffled. Already becoming comfortable in Castle's present, she rested her head on his chest.

"What color cast do you want? They may have pink." Kate told her, and Castle noticed that the girl's tears were slowing.

"Blue." Arianna told Kate as her tears finally stopped. Kate couldn't help but laugh at that and even Castle let out a chuckle. Kate felt a tap on the back and she turned to see Alexis holding the forms out to her.

"Umm," Alexis murmured. "I filled in most of it, but I wasn't sure about some things." She gestured to the area where you were supposed to put known allergies and then to the position of 'father.'

"Oh, it's great. Thanks." Beckett took the forms from her. She glanced briefly at Castle-which didn't go unnoticed by the man-as she stared at the blank. Filling coming to a decision of doing what she always did on forms like this, she put a neat line through it before looking at the allergies column. She wrote 'none known of' in her neat script.

Alexis stood quickly, "I'll take it back up there for you." Kate nodded in thanks and watched as the girl bounded off towards the nurse's station before turning back to her daughter, and, coincidentally, Castle.

"It hurts, Mommy," the youngest brunette whimpered.

"I know," Kate told her.

Castle took this as an opportunity to talk, "I broke my wrist once-I'm not going to tell you how though because your mom will kill me-and my mother thought it was the end of the world. Be thankful that your mom's not as much as a drama queen as mine is." Kate looked up from Arianna to glance at him, mentally begging him to tell Arianna more stories so she would be at least a little distracted from the pain.

"How do you know my Mommy?" Arianna asked, sniffling slightly.

Kate looked at Castle with wide eyes. "Well," Castle spoke. "I'm a writer. You know, of books." Arianna looked up at Kate for reassurance and Kate nodded slightly.

"Really, that's what I want to be when I grow up!" The girl exclaimed and Kate's brows knitted. She hadn't known that.

"You look like you'd make a good one. Anyway, you know your mom catches bad guys, right?"

Ari nodded, "Yeah, she's a superhero."

Castle laughed and Kate heard Alexis sit back down in the chair behind her. "Well, your mom needed help catches this really bad guy, and she knew how incredibly smart-slash-charming-slash-handsome I am, so she wanted me to help her."

"You forgot egotistical," Kate added, even though she knew that Arianna had no clue what that word meant. Alexis laughed and so did Arianna, not wanting to let them know that she didn't get it.

Castle got an I'm-so-injured look on his face, and Kate rolled her eyes. Neither noticed how both of them were easily slipping back into their old game. "Well, ignore your mom, she's just mean." He pouted and Ari giggled. Kate's heart tingled at her daughter getting along so well with her father. She knew that it wasn't good. Every second Arianna spent with Castle would make it harder for Kate to not tell Castle the truth. "After a lot of hard superhero work, I caught the bad guy."

Kate couldn't help it; she snorted. "Right…sure…that's exactly what happened." Sarcasm filled her words.

"Well, then, why don't _you _tell the story then?" Castle told her.

"I will. So there was this bad guy on the loose, right Ari? Well, I talked to Castle about it because," Kate thought for a moment, "Because he knew a lot of things about this bad guy." That wasn't exactly true, but what else could she tell the girl?

"And he just wouldn't go away." That part was true. "He wanted to help so much." Lie. He wanted to follow _you _around so much. "So, your uncle Roy told me to let him help." True. "And I did. After a few days, we got some information about the bad guy. We rushed over to his house to get him, and the bad guy caught Castle."

Arianna's eyes were wide as she looked up to Castle. "_I _rescued him, though, and got the bad guy."

Castle stared at Kate. "Wait-"

"Arianna Beckett?" a nurse called.

They got up and began to walk to her, but not before Castle leaned over to Beckett and whispered, "Saved by the bell…or, in this case, the nurse."

"Oh, Castle," she murmured back to him. "My story was so true."

"You didn't even mention the part where I head-butted the guy!" He exclaimed in her ear and Kate laughed.

She widened her eyes and put her hand over her mouth in faux shock, "Oops," she spoke before sauntering off into the room.

"The doctor will be right in." The nurse told them before leaving herself.

As Castle set Arianna down easily on the table, Kate thought of how amazing it would be to have him by her side at everything. Then, his phone rang, interrupting her fantasy. She blinked as he looked at its screen for a split second. "It's Kyra. I'll be right back."

Kyra.

His fiancée.

His love.

Everything that she wasn't.

That fantasy disappeared from her mind quickly as she grasped her daughter's hand.

-oOo-

"Castle, Castle, Castle, Castle," Arthur was murmuring to himself as he searched through the birth records of the last seven years. No Castles. None. Whatsoever. Damn it, he was going to have to call his boss back and tell him that he was wrong. Unless…could she be under Beckett? "Beckett," he began to search under the B's. "B-e-c…Beckett, here it is. This must be it. Arianna Beckett." He pulled the file out. Well, if this wasn't it there still was another Beckett in there. Her name was Kate too, but he didn't judge. Sure, it was a bit strange for her to give her daughter her first name as a first name in present times, but it wasn't unheard of. Look at Gilmore Girls, for instance. Damn, he really needed to tell his wife to quit watching that so often. It was embarrassing for a guy to know that.

He opened the file and looked down the year. It showed that the girl was about to turn six. That would work out. Kate Beckett had last shown up in a magazine including the author around that time. He had researched it on his phone on the way there, but he had wondered how she kept her pregnancy quiet from the press.

"Parents," he murmured to himself as he looked down at that column. Mother: Katherine Beckett. "Yes," he drug out the 's' in that word. Father: "Empty," he spoke to himself.

"Damn."

* * *

So, what do you think will happen next?

Okay, by the way, I don't know if birth records of in the courthouse or not. I've been to the emergency room once with my sister ( I broke my arm when I was really little, but I can't remember that) and I'm sure it's different here in Georgia than in New York City. Really, really, really, really different. And I'm not sure if a reporter would do that much research in a gossip magazine or not. But he is in this story. There is a Star Magazine, but I'm not sure if there is a 'Starr' or 'Sparkle'. I mainly get Seventeen and Teen Vogue. Things like that. Martina Regal is not a real person, but she is based on one. I will dedicate the next chapter to whoever gets what real life person she's based on. Sure, the dates are different (four weeks), but…

Thanks for all the amazing reviews. Keep them up, please. :)

Oh, and who else can't believe that this is chapter ten (including prologue)?


	11. Bad Feelings

This chapter is dedicated to: **hallow777** and **Lulu226. **By the way Lulu, what does the picture on your profile say? I can't quite make out the words. It's been bugging me, and it's actually the only reason I'm writing this chapter already. I was just going to write a chapter for my story Enigma today and work on this Castle one-shot that is in progress. Keep your eyes peeled for that. :) Anyway…

* * *

**Chapter Ten: **

Arthur stared at the slip of paper for a moment, frowning. Well, if he told his boss about it he was going to be unsatisfied. If he didn't, his boss would ask. He could lie, but he was never a good liar. But without a name being on there, no one could be sure of the true paternity except for the mother (and maybe father). Which meant that he could say that anyone is the father and another magazine couldn't prove him to be wrong, unless the mother talked to the other magazine of course.

He dialed the familiar number that belonged to his boss. "Go ahead with the article."

"You have proof?"

Arthur sighed internally. Maybe he couldn't detect one little lie, "Yes."

"Okay, nice job, Arthur, but you better get your ass here and start typing it up. It's eight o'clock. You have about two hours, if that."

Arthur nodded. Another night of overtime. Maybe his wife was right; he should have gotten into a different profession.

Kate tried to concentrate on her daughter and tried to think of something she could say to distract her from the pain. But all she could think about was Castle. Outside. Talking to his fiancée. She could hear quiet mumblings on the phone, but she couldn't quite make out any words. Thankfully for Kate, Alexis kept talking quietly to her sister. She had to be thankful for Alexis in a time and situation like this. She had just found out only hours ago that she had had a sister and yet here she was cool and calm. Kate wished that she could be more like her.

Finally, seconds later Castle walked back in. He was frowning slightly, but as he looked around the room the frown disappeared, but it didn't go unnoticed by Kate. He settled in a chair beside her. "What's wrong?" Kate murmured to him so that the others in the room couldn't hear.

"Nothing…" he said at first, but soon he continued."Well, actually, there's this bakery where Kyra wants out wedding cake to be from. They held it open late today for us, and well I forgot about it, and she's upset." He didn't know what there was about Kate that made him want to tell her his deepest and darkest secrets.

Kate felt a small feeling of guilt in her stomach for keeping him. "I'm so sorry," she murmured truthfully. Even if she didn't like the fact that he was getting married didn't mean that she didn't feel bad for interrupting some events that led up to the big day. "If you need to go we can catch a cab and everything…" she offered.

"No, its fine, Alexis wants to be here for Arianna anyway." He realized something after he said that. "How long has she known about her?"

Kate blinked. "Since this afternoon."

"Oh," Castle nodded thoughtfully.

"Why?"

"It just seems like they've known each other for longer. That's it."

Hmm, Kate hadn't thought about that before, and it did kind of seem like they had known each other longer than for a couple of hours. _It's because they're sisters, _a voice in the back of her head murmured. Yes, that's probably it. If only she could tell Castle that, but no, she couldn't. She didn't want to get in the way of everything in his life. Well, mostly his upcoming marriage. Kyra wasn't going to get in the way of her and Castle back then either, and she wasn't even in the picture when they got back together so she should offer Kyra the same chance. But her daughter needed her father. Kate tensed. She really should have just told Castle way back then. But she already knew that and there was no going back now. The old saying, "The past is the past," repeats in her head.

A doctor soon comes in. Taking one glance at Arianna's arm, he nods once, "Has anyone scheduled her for an X-ray, yet?"

"No," Castle shakes his head. "Not that we know of."

"I'll be back in a second," He leaves the room. Kate sighs and holds Arianna close, being careful of her swollen arm. True to his word, the doctor returns quickly. "She had, but it will still be a few minutes though. So, what happened, sweetie?" He asks Arianna.

Arianna gets closer to Kate, shyly. After a nod from Kate, Arianna finally speaks, "I was trying to fix my curtains on my bed. I slipped. It hurts so much."

He nods thoughtfully. "Any allergies?"

"No," Kate murmurs to him.

"Okay, can I see your arm?" He asks Arianna, who nods reluctantly.

She scoots closer to him and holds out her arm. Arianna grimaces, but neither Kate nor Castle notice. Kate puts her face into Castle's arm to avoid looking at her daughter's and he stares at her for a few seconds before looking back to the girl, who he's rapidly developing fatherly feelings for. The doctor pokes her arm gently in several areas. With each poke, Arianna whimpers and Castle feels Kate flinch beside him.

The doctor scribbles something down on a file and hands it to Castle. "Here you go. I'll go get a nurse to get you some ibuprofen to give to her for the pain."

Castle nodded in thanks and reached around to pat Kate's leg to tell her that it was over. She looked up at him and her eyes caught his. They stared at each other for a moment before Arianna called, "Mommy," beside them. Castle, who had forgotten to remove his hand from her thigh, pulled it back quickly and looked away. As he was turning away, he swore the saw a faint blush on her cheeks.

"Yes, sweetie?" the detective murmured to her daughter.

"Can you and Lex's dad tell more stories?"

Castle laughed beside them. "Only if _I _get to tell them, you're mom's a story teller."

"_But _I want to hear stories!" Arianna exclaimed with wide eyes, not understanding, and Kate tried and failed to suppress a laugh.

"Okay," Kate murmured. "What story should I tell?" She moved from her chair to sit on the table and she gathered Arianna into her arms. "Hmm," she thought.

"How about the one where I saved you?" Castle asked.

_Which time? _She thought to herself, but didn't voice the question aloud.

"You know, with the one with the passports."

She remembered now. The one where Meredith came back to town. She shuddered at the thought of Alexis' mother, but… "Which one is that?" she played innocent at first before adding, "_Kitten." _

Castle frowned. "Maybe not that one."

"Who's Kitten?" Ari asked.

Kate smirked.

"No one," Castle looked away, embarrassed. "Naked," he murmured so only Beckett could hear, "and far less embarrassed." Remembering something he asked, "I thought we had a deal?"

"Did I ever actually reply?"

Castle frowned; she was right.

"I've got it!" She turned away from Castle to face her daughter.

"Oh, God," Castle muttered. "_Why _do I have an extremely bad feeling about this?"

Kate turned around smirking evilly, "Because in addition to being extremely annoying, you're also kind of smart."

"Do I detect a compliment somewhere in there?" He leaned in to her. A little too close.

She knitted her eyebrows together as she tilted her head slightly, "Maybe not so smart."

"What do you mean by-"

Beckett grabbed his ear.

"Ow! Apples, apples, apples, apples," He repeated.

"Apples?" Arianna looked up to Alexis. "Why does he keep saying that?"

Alexis shrugged. "It's his safe word."

"Safe word?"

"It doesn't matter."

Once Castle finally leaned back, Kate released his ear. "Apples, still?"

"What? It's a delicious, juicy fruit. It's timeless. Plus, one amazing safe word, but," he rubbed his ear, "you've ruined it."

Kate ignored him and turned back to Arianna, opening her mouth.

"There was this one time when," Kate began.

She ignored Castle's chant of "Bad feeling, really, really bad feeling."

-oOo-

A few hours later, as Arianna was leaving the hospital sporting a brand new blue cast with her mother, her father, and sister, an early copy of Starr Magazine showed up on Archie Hastings' desk. Archie was Arthur Reagan's boss. Staring down at the magazine cover, which held a picture of Kate Beckett and Richard Castle, he smiled in victory. Sorry Sparkle.

He made a mental note to give Arthur a raise as he began to flip through the magazine's pages.

* * *

Hope you liked it! Thanks to AllyCameron for advice in this chapter, even though you probably won't be reading this. :) By the way, I just had to have someone named Archie in this story. I have no clue why. I don't even know anyone with the name Archie. Seriously. Thanks for all of the reviews. I had something else that I was going to tell ya'll, but I can't remember that now. I hate when that happens!

By the way, since the new BlackBerry Torch has like just been released does anyone else want it. I do. I have the newest BlackBerry Bold right now, and I love it, but I really, really, really want to try the Torch out.

Well, anyway, have a good weekend everyone! A new chapter will probably be up on Monday.

Oh, I remember now! I have the very last chapter written. :) I mean, I have the first few chapters written (and posted) and the last chapter written, but now I just need to work on the chapters in between. Strange, I know, but in the middle of this chapter the idea came to me and I just had to write it down before I forgot.


	12. How Secrets Are Made

**Chapter Eleven:**

_"Secrets are made to be found out with time,"  
-Charles Sanford _

The next morning, Kate woke up with a bundle nestled by her side. She rolled over gently, not to disturb the bundle. Pulling the covers back, Kate tucked them under Arianna's neck. It bothered Kate when Arianna threw the covers over her head because Kate always thought that she wouldn't be able to breathe. Kate turned back over to check the time. Six o'clock. Kate carefully extracted herself from the tangled sheets and made her way into her bathroom to take a shower. Slipping in the shower, Kate sighed when she felt the hot water cascading down her body.

She loved peaceful morning like this when she wasn't in a rush.

Getting out of the shower, Kate wrapped the large, white towel around her body snugly before walking to her closet. Grabbing the pair of clothes that she had picked out yesterday when they had gotten home from the hospital, she put them on. She then made her way down the hall to the kitchen where she put on a pot of coffee and quickly fixed some toast, eggs, and bacon. While that lay cooling on the table, she walked back down the hall to her bedroom.

"Arianna," she whispered, taking a seat on her bed. The girl began to stir slightly when Kate gently shook her.

"Hmm?" she groggily wiped her eyes, but continued to lie down.

"Breakfast is ready."

"M'okay," Ari mumbled sleepily and she sat up.

Kate threw her wet hair up in a bun as she followed Arianna down the hall. They ate in comfortable silence. By the time they were done the clock showed six forty-five. "Okay, do you know what you're going to wear today?"

Kate asked her daughter and she nodded. As Arianna went to get dressed, Kate cleaned off the table. As she was putting the last dish into the sink, the shrill ring of her phone cut through the silence. Kate sighed, dropped the plate in the sink, and wiped her hangs off on a kitchen towel before rushing down to her bedroom where the ring was coming from. "I'm coming…I'm coming." She told it.

"Beckett," she answered.

"Kate? Are you still at your apartment?" Kate recognized the voice as Lanie's.

The detective's brows furrowed in confusion, "Yeah…" she dragged out the word.

"So you haven't seen the Starr?"

"The star? What the hel-heck is that?" Kate corrected herself when she saw Arianna standing in the doorway.

"The magazine? You seriously haven't heard of it?" Lanie asked surprise evident in her voice. A silence followed the question and Lanie sighed before speaking again, "Well, they've heard of you."

"What?" Kate murmured, confused.

Lanie sighed again before speaking again. This time her voice was low, careful, caring. "Have you told someone, other than me, about," she lowered her voice, "Arianna?"

Kate understood what she meant. Arianna's paternity. "Yes," Kate whispered. "Why?"

"Because they must have let it slip to that magazine."

"What?" Kate exclaimed loudly and Arianna ran in her mother's bedroom quickly with a worried expression on her face. "Go back to you room, sweetie," Kate told her, trying to assume an expression of neutrality, but she failed.

"Alexis would have never-" she trailed off, and after she caught her mistake she frowned. Sighing to herself, she murmured, "Damn," quietly.

"Alexis?" the M.E. screeched. "Alexis Castle! Girl, have you gone insane?"

_I'm beginning to think so, _she thought to herself. "About time," Kate answered Lanie's question. "She wouldn't have told anyone though."

"No," Lanie admitted reluctantly. "I guess she wouldn't, but why did you tell her in the first place? I didn't think you would have ever even told me if you hadn't had gotten knocked up!"

_Knocked up? _Kate hated that. "Lanie," the detective's voice was low, but still warning.

"Sorry, girl, but _really_."

"More important things, Lanie," Kate reminded through gritted teeth. Then a thought entered her head that made her lose her breath. "Oh, God," she exhaled heavily. "I wonder if Castle knows." As she continued to think of what would happen if he knew, she slowly hung up the phone ignoring Lanie's words of comfort.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Rick?" Kyra called, making her way down the stairs where Castle was slowly waking from an uncomfortable slumber on the couch. He yawned and rubbed his eyes as he sat. This was an improvement. She was at least talking to him now, and her voice didn't even sound upset or angry either. Thank God. As Kyra came into view, he tried to forget the lingering memories of the dream that he had just had.

The dream.

"Rick?" she spoke again, coming to a stop in front of the sofa.

"Uhmmm," he murmured, stretching.

She put her hands on her hips before twirling. She looked into his eyes nervously, "Does this look bad?" Glancing briefly, he had learned on previous times that looking too long (gawking excluded) or not answering fast enough (she thought that he was too nervous to answer meaning it looked bad) were both bad things.

"It looks amazing, Ka-Kyra." He corrected himself. _Oh, God, no, please tell me she didn't notice. _Castle mentally begged. _Damn dream, _he thought. It was confusing him.

Luckily she didn't notice and smiling she murmured, "Are you sure?" She continued to smile as she twirled again, her clothes settling in gently by her side as she came to a stop.

His stomach twisted. An amazing woman was standing in front of him, and all he could think about was someone else. Someone who had left him heartbroken years ago, but…wasn't that what Kyra had done as well? Castle remembered that Kyra had asked him something. He blinked, clearing his thoughts. His fiancée continued to stand in front of him patiently with a smile. _What was the question again? _He thought frantically. Oh, yeah…right.

"It looks great." He murmured to her, standing. She grinned.

"Thanks." She spoke honestly. Taking a step towards him, she wrapped her arms around him. Standing on her toes, she captured his lips with hers. As her tongue traced over his bottom lip begging for entrance, Castle moved away from her. Her brows knitted in confusion and her mouth from an O, "Rick? What's wrong?"

_Oh, God. _He wasn't an idiot. He saw the hurt in her eyes, so he put on a false smile, "Morning breath." He lied, but she seemingly bought it, grinning at him with her wide, brown eyes. "I'll be right back."

Looking to the clock on the wall of the room, Kyra sighed, "I have to go anyway. The girls are going with me to pick up the dresses."

"Dresses?" He couldn't stop himself from asking.

She chuckled and rolled her eyes, thinking he was kidding. "Rick…" she spoke slowly, enunciating as if he was a young child. "My wedding…dress…and the bridesmaid…dresses."

Wedding. Right.

He couldn't believe that he had forgotten all about it, but he wasn't given time to dwell on that. The moment that she finished speaking, his phone went off. Then, two seconds later hers did. As he rushed to answer his, he watched Kyra out of the corner of his eye bound gracefully to get her phone. "Castle," he put the phone to his ear. Castle. He hadn't answered his phone like that in years…ever since… He needed to quit thinking her. About _that._ It wasn't the best time for him.

"Richard!" He recognized the phone immediately as Paula's. "Have you seen the Starr? How couldn't you have told me?" She squawked.

"Told you what?"

"Richard," Paula screeched. "Don't play dumb with me! It's all over that magazine!"

"Paula, I'm not playing anything. What's going on?" He walked around the living room, watching Kyra murmur into her voice quietly. He watched Kyra's face fall and she murmured something else into the phone heatedly. Castle strained to hear what was being said, but he couldn't make out anything.

"Arianna!"

"Arianna? How do you know about her?"

"Damn it, Rick, I knew it! I hoped it wasn't true, but I know Archie and he hates falsified articles."

"What does she have to do with a magazine? And what about her?"

"What about her? It's not about her! This is about how you have a daughter and how you didn't tell me about it!"

What? "Daughter?"

"Wait," she caught on to his tone of voice. "You didn't know? Was that picture a photo shop?"

"Paula." Castle murmured. "Slow down and tell me what's going on."

"Rick, Nikki Heat has your kid."

What in the world? How did the magazine find out before him_? Wait, was that-did she-_? He spun around to face Kyra, who stood staring at him tears running down her face. Castle slowly let his phone drop to the floor. He vaguely heard Paula screeching his name. "Kyra…" he trailed off.

"Arianna?" her voice broke. "Rick, how could you have not told me?"

* * *

So, I think it's kind of choppy, but I don't really care. I'll correct later if time permits, but I just wanted to get another chapter out to show that I haven't forgotten about any of ya'll!

It's my second day of junior year! :)) We had our first volleyball game on Tuesday and we won! I went out with friends yesterday, and, well, I only had like two hours to write this! Thankfully, we didn't have any volleyball practice today, and I had tons of homework. Ahh, I _so _wish summer was longer. Anyway, I'm meeting some friends in like an hour for some shopping and dinner so I've _really _got to go get ready!

Hope you like it! :)


	13. Loved

**Author's Notes**: So, no update for a while, huh? I'm sorry! I've been very busy lately with school and volleyball and my car's been having problems and eh, everything. Plus my entire right arm is killing me. Well, at least from my elbow up, and I have no clue why. And it's messing with everything. It hurts when I pick up my book bag, when I bend it, when I lean (even just a little) on it, and especially in volleyball, which is really bad because I'm a hitter and everything and it's getting me WAY off on them.

**Important!** Anyway, thankfully (for ya'll) my plans for this afternoon fell through. :) But I probably will only get one chapter up for this story. I was hoping to be able to get one for this one and one for another one. But our first football game is tonight and I'm going so I'm going to have to get ready soon!

Okay, so there was some confusion about the last chapter. Castle was shocked that Arianna was his daughter. Sure, he had thought that it was true, but never truly _thought _about it. Get it? I mean, in his position, I would feel the same way. That's why I wrote it like that.

And now Kyra knows, so for him it's kind of like a what-the-fuck-am-I-going-to-do moment.

* * *

**Chapter Twelve: **

Kate rushed up the stairs and tried to stop all the memories of familiarity that passed through her as she was in this building. She pushed open the door leading to the hallway breathlessly. _Please, please, please don't know. _She chanted internally. God, she prayed that he didn't because if he did then…she didn't want to think of the consequences. She had dropped Arianna off at school earlier than she normally did because she just _had _to get here to see if he knew.

But why wouldn't he?

He had people that told him everything. Kate stopped in front of the all too familiar door. She tried to swallow back the memories that arose unwelcomed at the thought of this same door all those years ago. The feelings of the numbers being pressed into her back as Castle shoved her into it. She scolds herself and tries to forget those memories as the not so familiar butterflies took residence in your stomach. Beckett swallows before reaching up to knock on the door, trying to remember her cover story. She then remembers the jacket in her hand. Thank God for Castle's forgetfulness.

She hears shuffling on the other side of the door and she takes a deep breath to be able to adapt an expression of neutrality. The door opens, and she fights the habitual need to tense. Be cool. She reminds herself, but when is she ever 'cool' around the author. Beckett automatically expects Castle to answer, but when she sees a woman, her muscles tense. There wasn't any way to stop it this time. Being a detective, her eyes go directly to the puffy eyes, telltale red cheeks, and bloodshot eyes.

Kyra.

Even with the tear stained face, Kate notes that she still looks beautiful. "Kate?" Kyra asked the surprise showing clear in her face. Kate fakes a smile, suppressing her look of shock. She internally fusses at herself for not even assuming that Kyra would be here because of course she would. They probably had been living together for a while before the engagement.

"Yes," Kate holds the coat out for her, ready to run as soon as she takes it because at this point, she doesn't even remember why she was stupid enough to come there in the first place. "Umm…right, can you give this to Castle please? He left it in my car."

Kyra's brows scrunched together and a frown showed up on her face. "He left it in your car?" She repeated.

Kate nodded.

A tight smile appeared on Kyra's face. _This so isn't good, _Beckett thought. "You can give it to him yourself. He's right in here." She walks quickly in the direction of the living room, leaving the room open for Kate to follow. Beckett shuts the door quickly and follows, once again ignoring the tingling feeling of déjà vu, but a blush somehow crept up in her cheeks. "Rick," Kyra speaks, and for the first time, Kate notices Castle staring out large glass window in the far left of the room.

Castle turns, "Are you leaving?" He starts walking towards his fiancée until Kate catches his eye, and he staggers, but quickly catches himself. He stares at Beckett for a moment, something unrecognizable in his eyes before he remembers Kyra. Then, he begins looking slowly back and forth between the two of them, fear obvious in his expression. Kate sets his coat down on the sofa that she was standing beside before backing up a step.

"I just wanted to drop this off. You left it in my car."

"Oh, ah," his plan had worked. Leaving his coat had given him the chance to see her again like he had wanted, but at the worst possible time. "Thanks." That's all he could think of to say? Thanks! She was the mother of his child for God's sake. Kate nodded before turning to leave.

"Wait." A voice called.

But surprisingly it wasn't Castle's voice that had spoken. It was Kyra's. Kate whirled around. "Stay." Kyra spoke. Almost right after the word had left her lips the doorbell rang. "Those are the girls," she explained, looking to Rick. "Listen, I think, after what Rick's said that you two have a lot to…you know, talk about." She smiled a small smile, not noticing Kate's 'Oh, God' expression. The doorbell rang again, and the shortest brunette smiled apologetically. "They aren't very patient." She grabbed her voice. Walking over to Castle, Kyra kissed his cheek. "Talk," she ordered. "Bye, Kate. It was good seeing you."

Kate couldn't miss the sincerity in her voice.

Kyra grabbed her purse and walked quickly to the door, leaving the two alone. Silence took up in the room. "So," Kate murmured, shivering slightly under Castles' gaze. "You know."

"It's true." It was a statement. Not a question. Kate didn't have to ask to know that it was rhetorical. After a few moments, he spoke again, his voice much quieter and emotional, "I have so many questions, I don't know how to begin."

Kate stayed silent, allowing him a moment to organize his thoughts while staring at the floor.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

She didn't look up. "There wasn't a chance to. I found out a few months after…" she trailed off.

"After you left me?" His voice was accusing and for the first time, she looked up to meet his angry glare with one of her own.

"It felt like the right thing to do at the time." She defended herself.

"You couldn't have talked to me about it first? Do you know how much it hurt?"

"Yes," she replied calmly. "I do."

"I was shot, Kate," she flinched at the sound of her own name. "And then you left. I didn't know what to do. You weren't _supposed_ to leave."

"You weren't _supposed_ to get shot." She retorted.

"Really?" heavy sarcasm flooded his words. "I had no idea."

Tears blurred her vision, "I couldn't…" her voice broke. "It was my fault. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have been there; you wouldn't have gotten shot. You wouldn't have had to fight for your life. I should have-"

"Please," he shrugged, the anger disappeared at tears flowed down her face. "You told me to wait in the car. I didn't. I should have listened to you."

"No," she argued, taking a bold step towards him. "If it wasn't for me you wouldn't have been there at _all. _Two weeks you were unconscious, Castle. Two weeks. All I could think of was all the things that I could have done. Should have done. I should've known that you wouldn't sit in the car. You never did. It was my fault. Luckily you woke up because I don't think I could have lived with myself if I had taken you away from Alexis. After you woke up, you immediately wanted to go back out into the field. All I could think of then was the image of you lying there on a gurney, doctors working on you furiously to keep you alive. All I could see was you being shot again, and then time not waking up." Kate breathed deeply, embarrassed by her emotions.

She quickly composed herself, but not before she said, "I couldn't let that happen again."

As the tears disappeared, Castle felt his anger returning. "So you left?" He asked, outraged. "I _loved _you." At his admission, the entire room seemed to freeze. The words repeated over and over in Kate's head, and she couldn't forget the past tense usage. Castle tensed immediately after the words left his lips, frowning. He never was too good at keeping things bottled up. He couldn't forget the past tense usage either.

Kate smiled tightly, "I did too."

"What?" the words left his lips before he could stop them and he stared at her. Once again, silence took up the room. Neither of the adults could think of anything to say.

Finally Castle asked, "What are we going to do…about Arianna?"

Kate looked around, breathing deeply before admitting, "I have no idea."

* * *

What do you think? I hope it's not too bad. :) Thanks for the reviews for the previous chapter. :D


	14. Esposito

**Chapter Thirteen: **

"Well," Castle spoke. "We have to do something about her."

"I know," Kate drug her hands through her hair. "I just…I just…" she paused, taking a deep breath. "I don't know. I never thought about…" she trailed off, her hands gesturing around her.

He sighed. "I know."

Kate nodded once, before looking around nervously. So, she asked the only thing that came to her mind, "Where's Alexis?"

"With friends."

"Oh," Kate murmured before nodding thoughtfully. Silence filled the room again. "I guess I need to get back to the precinct then." She started for the door, but Castle grasped her wrist before she could leave the room. She turned to him, shocked.

"Can you tell me…about her?" He pleaded his blue eyes wide. "Please?"

Kate didn't know why. Maybe it was the tone of his voice, the nervousness that shown in his features, or maybe because she wanted to spend as much time with him as she could, but she nodded. He smiled, and led her to the couch. He dropped her hand before sitting and getting himself comfortable. She repeated his actions. As she settled into the seat behind him, he stared at her intently. She assumed he was waiting for her to begin, but his eyes had a far off look in them. "I don't know where to began," she admittedly honestly, staring at the palms of her hands that were lying in her lap.

"The beginning," he encouraged her.

She smiled nervously, but opened her mouth to speak. "She was born on November the third. It's hard to believe that my little baby will be _five _in a few months. _Five_." She shakes her head at the thought before continuing shortly. "Seven pounds eight ounces. My father was instantly smitten with her." Kate smiles fondly at the memory of her dad's glistening eyes as he held his granddaughter for the first time. "The guys, God you should've seen them, it was like they didn't know how to act at first. Goodness knows they were glad that I had finally had her though. I didn't like desk work too much," she says as if that explains everything, and Castle understood. He was sure pregnant Beckett on desk work was horrible.

"Lanie's the only one who knows," she adds. "The guys suspect, but they aren't really brave enough to ask." She grins. "They don't know that I know about their suspicions. They think they're so smart." She stares off into space at that sentence, and Castle knows that she's remembering some moment. "Ari was the cutest baby ever in my opinion, but I _am_ kind of biased." She shrugs. "She started holding her head up at a week." Kate looks at Castle for the first time since she began talking of their daughter. "A week. She was stubborn even then!"

Castle chuckles fondly, "I wonder where she got _that _from?"

Kate shrugs innocently. "Don't know."

"Right," he drags out the word. A minute later he speaks, "Think she's got a double dose?"

Kate laughs slightly before nodding. "She started walking at seven and a half months." She looks directly into Castle's eyes. "You know she never really crawled? One day I came home from work to find her trying to pull herself up with the help of my coffee table. A week later she took her first steps." Kate smiles. "That's all the biggies, I think."

Castle nods, "Tell me about all the little moments too. Sometimes those can be just as good as the big ones, if not better."

"Okay, so there was this one time, she was eight months I think. I was in my bedroom cleaning up my closet. One minute she was in there playing with her baby doll, the next minute she's gone. It scared the hell out of me. I was running around the apartment trying to find her. Once I did, she was in the kitchen, she had found a chocolate Hershey's bar. It was all over her by the time I got to her. I tried taking the chocolate away from her so I could get her cleaned up and everything, but she wasn't having any of that. She began screaming bloody murder until I finally gave it back to her. So, we just sat there until she finished her chocolate bar, and _then _we got her cleaned up."

Kate smiled at the memory. "By the time I had managed to get her in the bath tub, I needed a bath too. It was so messy." She paused. "I think she gets it from you."

"Hey!" Castle exclaims. "I do not."

"Do you want me to start naming examples?"

Castle shook his head quickly and Kate smiled victoriously.

Just then the shrill sound of a cell phone cut through the air, "Sorry," Kate murmured. "Excuse me," she said before walking out of the room to get some privacy.

"Beckett," Kate spoke into the phone.

"Kate!" a voice exclaimed on the other end of the phone and she automatically recognized it as Alexis's. "Kate, have you seen Starr magazine? I was walking by this newspaper stand this morning with some of my old friends from high school when I saw it. I-I," Alexis stuttered.

"Alexis, calm down. Take deep breaths. I know."

"Then why to you sound so calm?" the girl's voice was octaves above what it normally was.

Kate shrugged, even though she knew Alexis couldn't see it. In truth, she felt a lot better than she had for years now. It was like a weight had been lifted from off of her shoulders, not to sound too cliché. She knew it was because Castle now knew about her secret. Before she could respond to Alexis's question, Castle appeared in Kate's line of vision.

"I was just going to the kitchen. I wanted to know if you wanted anything." He was whispering, but Kate still knew that Alexis heard him. She tensed.

"Is that Dad?" Alexis asked.

"Yes." She spoke into the phone.

She could practically hear the younger Castle's shock. "Does he know?" Alexis whisper-shouted into the phone.

"Yes." Kate stared at Castle. "Listen, I have to go. I'll call you back later."

"Oh, right, bye!" The girl exclaimed quickly before hanging up. Kate turned back to Castle, placing her phone back into her pocket.

"Was that Alexis?"

Kate bit her lip, "Yes."

"She saw the magazine?"

Kate shuffled nervously, "Yes."

"She called to warn you, didn't she?"

Kate sighed. "Yes."

Surprisingly, he didn't seem mad, just resigned. As if he almost expected it. _It really must be bad between he and Alexis_, Kate pondered.

"When?" Castle asked. But when she didn't reply, he asked, "When did she find out? Or when did you tell her?"

"A few days ago," Kate sighed. "She actually figured it out herself."

"Oh," he nodded before walking back off into the living room.

Kate frowned, "Castle!" She called out. She started to follow him, but then her phone rang. Glancing down at it, she read the word **PRECINCT **flash across the screen. Throwing one last look at the entrance to the living room she muttered, "Damn it!" before pressing the green button to answer the call. "Beckett."

"I knew _it_!" The voice exclaimed excited and she grimaced.

Esposito.

* * *

As always, reviews are lovely. :)


	15. To Kate, Her Life Was Falling Apart

**Previously: **

"I _knew_ it!" The voice exclaimed excited and she grimaced.

Esposito.

**Chapter Fourteen: **

"Knew what?" She asks, playing dumb.

She _really _didn't have time for this as she stared at the doorway. Kate frowned; she _really _needed to go after Castle.

The detective can practically hear Esposito's frown. "Don't play dumb with me." He tells her and she bites back a sigh. Of course he wasn't going to take a bullshit answer for this.

"What are you talking about?" Kate finally asks, exasperated. She was almost postive what the answer was going to be, but if he didn't know she didn't want to tell him. Even though she knew she would have to eventually. Maybe Castle could have that honor. Or Arianna. _Sending your daughter to the wolves? _She thinks. _Such a great, loving parent. _But Esposito and Ryan would respond better if her sweet, innocent daughter was the one telling them the truth instead of her. Beckett faintly hears steps in the other room. It sounds like Castle's pacing by the large window. Kate frowns and bounces anxiously, eager for this phone call to be over and done with. She breifly wonders if he would buy the 'I'm going through a tunnel excuse', but she disregards that quickly. Esposito may act childish sometimes, but he wasn't stupid.

"The least you can do is to treat me is treat me with some diginity because apparently Ryan and I aren't trustworthy enough for you to tell us about your daughter's parternity." He spits out, upset, and Kate's blindsided by this reaction.

Kate closes her eyes, wincing slightly. "I thought you respected my decision to keep it quiet." Her voice is quiet, brimming with sadness.

"I thought you valued my friendship." The frustrated detective retorts.

"I did!" She protests quickly before adding, "I do."

"Then why didn't you tell us you had Castle's kid?" Kate wonders where he's at, and she prays he isn't saying all this at the precinct in front of people. Her reputation was already going to be down the drain without his remarks to add on to the fire. The reputation that she had carefully constructed and built up for years. She frowned. Her coworkers are now, most likely, going to consider her a hypocritical bimbo. Because after all that talk about not wanting Castle around, and with her talk about his 'playboyness' and she _slept_ with him? Hypocritcal bimbo.

_Oh, God, _she thought suddenly. Arianna. Someone at her school probably has seen the newspaper. And what if they told her before Kate got a chance to? She tenses. "Esposito," she whispers in the phone. "I've got to go."

On the other end, her fellow homicide detective snorts. "Of course you do."

"Esposito, it's just-" she tries to explain, but he quickly cuts her off.

"Whatever, Beckett. Just go. Hang up. You obviously don't want to deal with this right now. Apparently our friendship means nothing to you. After all these years..." He trails off, unable to continue.

"No, you don't get it-"

"I think I 'get it' just fine, Detective." The formality brings tears to her eyes. "Don't insult my intelligence too."

"Esposito-" she tries to protest, but it's too late. He's already gone. Tears start sliding down her face. To Kate, it feels like her life is falling apart. _But what else did you think was going to happen? _A little voice in the back of her asks. _Did you think that Castle was going to be all happy? Sweep you off your feet, shower Arianna with love, and you'll live happily ever after? That everyone was going to be okay with that? You're a detective, Kate. You should know better. _The voice spurs on the tears more, and so, instead of going after Castle like she wants to to ask him to go with her, she turns and walks out the door. Minutes later when Castle walks out to talk to Kate, he finds her to be gone, and he grimaces, thinking that it was his fault she left.

Kate arrives at Arianna's school twenty minutes later. As she walks through the front door, her phone begins to ring and she recognizes the number to be the school's. She stops at the entrance, frowning and wishing that she was abetter parent. If she was, she never would have made Arianna go to school after learning about the article.

If she was, they wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. Arianna wouldn't be going through the beginning years of her life not having a father. Maybe she should just let Castle get full custody of her baby. He did a pretty great job with Alexis. Or well, he did up to lately. "Kate Beckett," she opts for instead of her usual 'Beckett.'

"Ms. Beckett, if you could get down to the school-"

"I'm here right now," she interrupts.

Beckett hears the woman take a relieved breath. "Thank heavens," she remarks. "We've had a bit of a situation; one of Arianna's classmates-"

Kate bites her bottom lip before taking the remaing steps towards the office. "Mentioned Castle?" Kate finished.

"I believe that's what happened." The woman spoke. "I'll see you when you get here, Ms. Beckett."

Kate nodded, as if the woman could see her before pressing the red end call button on her cell phone. The moment Kate walked into the office, she saw Arianna. The young brunette was sitting in a cushy leather chair by one of the walls in the office. She was solemn faced, staring into space. Or she was, until she spotted Kate.

"Mommy!" The girl exclaimed before rushing into Beckett's outstretched arms. The moment she was embraced in her mother's arms, she began to cry softly. Kate stood up and carried Arianna to the chair that the latter had just occupied. "It was so awful," Ari sobbed. "Emma called you a 'slut.' I don't know what that means, but it sounded bad and she said she had heard it from her mommy." Kate winced. "She wouldn't stop saying that even after I asked her nicely too, so I pu-pushed her down. Then, sh-she said that Alexis' daddy is my daddy. Is t-that true?" Brown eyes met blue as Arianna sniffed. Kate carefully wiped the tears from her little girl's eyes.

When Kate didn't respond, Arianna let out a tearful, "Mommy?"

"I'm so sorry, baby, about what happened, but you still shouldn't have pushed her. You should have just gone to the teacher." Kate scolded.

Arianna nodded thoughtfully. "I know. She just kept saying it," Arianna looked away, "and she just wouldn't quit. So, I pushed her." After a moment of silence, Arianna spoke again. "You still haven't answered my question." Her voice was quiet and it certainly didn't seem like one who belonged to a four year old.

"I know, honey. What if it was true? Would you like Castle as a dad? Would you like to have Alexis as a sister?"

Ari shrugged, "I don't know. I've never had either one, but if I did, I guess they'd be the ones I picked. Or Alexis would be after Kasey, of course." Kasey was her best friend, and Kate couldn't help but smile at that. "Kasey talks about her daddy all the time. She says that he is so cool. Would Mr. Castle be a cool daddy?"

Wide eyed, Arianna looked up to Kate. "Yes," Kate told her. "I think he would."

"All right then, I would like them to be my daddy and sister."

Kate chuckled and wrapped her daughter in a hug. "That's good, sweetie. That's really good."

-oOo-

So, I apologize for any mistakes because I'm on my BlackBerry Word and it isn't really cooperating. Another weekend at my dad's. :/ I just wanted to get this chapter out there. Anyway, I'm not so sure about this. Are they in character? I'm not so sure because I haven't watched Castle in like forever. I'm actually trying to hold off from watching it until the new season begins because I know if I do, it'll just make me even more impatient for this new season. :)

Thanks for all the reviews! :D

**Important: **Rest in peace, all people who were killed in the 9/11 attacks.

BTW: Arianna is four, about to turn five, but the reporter thinks she's six because she looks older than she truly is.

Also, I'm looking for a Castle story that I meant to put on my favorite's list, but I didn't and now I can't find it. So, it's placed some years in Castle and Beckett's future. A reporter named Nikki comes to interview him on his books. He's aged significantly and talks of his grandchildren's scattered toys around his house. His wife comes in and speaks to him and the reporter some, and in the very end the wife is reveiled to be Beckett. The ending words were something like 'Oh, she got married, had a couple of kids, and lived happily ever after.' If any of ya'll has read this story please let me know. It's a very good one and I wanted to place it on my favorite's list and review it, but I never got a chance to.


	16. Well, This Is Awkward

**Chapter Fifteen: **

"So, can they be?" Arianna asked almost hopefully, her wide blue eyes staring at her mother. Briefly, Kate experienced a déjà vu of those same blue eyes staring at her, in a different time, different place, and well, from a different person. It almost seemed like another lifetime to be honest. Kate was stuck in the past because of them for several moments before Arianna tilted her head and taped her gently on her shoulder. "Mommy?" she asked again, successfully snapping Kate from her thoughts. The older woman blinked a few times before scrunching her brows together in confusion.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. What did you say?"

Arianna frowned, but she told her anyway. "I wanted to know if Mr. Castle could be my daddy and if Alexis could be my sister." After a moment of silence, Arianna asked again, almost begging. "Can they, Mommy? Please? Because I want to be able to talk about how cool my big sister is like Anna Richards does and how cool my daddy is like Kasey does!" The girl used hand motions that, if they were in a different situation, would cause Kate to laugh.

"Sure."

That one word caused Ari to squeal and almost tackle her mother in a tight hug. "Can we go see them right now? I want to go play with Alexis again. She's so fun! Please, Momma, please?" Arianna quickly jumped out of Kate's arm and began to bounce excitedly. "Wait," Arianna paused, looking almost fearful. "Do I have to go back to school? I don't want to see Emma again today."

"No, you don't, but sit right here for a minute while I go talk to Ms. Kiser." Kate looked to the woman who was leaning against the door of her office, watching the mother-daughter interaction. She always seemed to keep this bored expression on her face or so it seemed to Kate whenever she would run into her at the school.

"Miss Beckett," the woman greeted her with a faux niceness. The was she said 'miss' was like the way some snobs said 'poor' or some anorexics say 'fat,' and Kate fought the urge to roll her eyes. So she was a single mother? So many people were in today's world. That woman seemed to forget that it wasn't the nineteenth century anymore.

Kate tried to adapt a fake smile on her face, but she was sure she failed. Everything about this woman irked her. "Ms. Kiser."

Ms. Kiser said nothing, but just led Kate into the small and tidy office, shutting the door behind her. Kate frowned and was instantly overcome with the memories of her few times in an office like this. It wasn't that she had gotten in trouble, no, but she witnessed several fights and was brought in there for such. Either way, it still made her heart leap, and she was an adult. Who was also a cop. "Take a seat," Ms. Kiser directed gesturing to the two chairs in front of her desk, and reluctantly, Kate did. "You're daughter is an excellent student. One of the very best at our school," the detective wanted to interrupt the headmaster and ask her to say was she was going to without all the platitudes, but she didn't. "…and this is the first time that we've had trouble with her, so we're going to let her go on this one, but if it happens again then we'll be inclined to take action."

Kate fought the urge to glare, but she couldn't stop herself from aiming a mean look at the woman. "Arianna was provoked."

"So I've heard, but it still doesn't give her the excuse to take the duty to punish the girl on herself."

"She asked her politely to stop several times before she pushed her, and I'm not saying that that was the right thing to do. Believe me, she will be punished for her actions, but I know that this isn't the first time that you have had problems with the same girl instigating fights and such. My daughter's told me about it, but this time she was pushing other people to get into a fight. She was pushing herself into one, and, if I may ask, what are you doing to punish that girl? I know this isn't her first-"

"We're seeing to it, Ms. Beckett." Ms. Kiser cut her off.

"You do that," Kate spoke disbelievingly. "Now, if that's it…"

"Yes, I just wanted to make myself cl-"

Kate smiled tightly, "You have. Believe me." And then the detective rose from her seat and left, without another word to the woman.

-oOo-

"Hey, Detective, it's Castle. I just wanted to…talk to you. You had left out of here earlier before, well, I thought you would. And I'm sorry if I did something to make you mad, I'm just...having trouble sorting this through my head. If you could, please give me a call back…or something…if you get a-" Castle paused, taking a deep breath to compose himself. He thought after the fifth message that he wouldn't be stumbling through sentences anymore, but he was wrong. "Just…I want to talk about…A-Arianna." He stuttered before quickly hanging up. He winced at what an idiot he sounded like.

He threw his phone down on the couch, frustrated, raking his hands through his hair. Taking a deep breath, he, like always, quickly made an impulse decision and rushed upstairs to take a quick shower and get a fresh pair of clothes so he could go to Beckett's apartment and speak to her face-to-face. He hadn't even thought about the chance that she was at the precinct. As he was entering the door, Castle remembered his cell phone and went back downstairs to get it so he could hear if Beckett called him back. Then, once he was in the middle of his shower, he quickly remembered that his phone wasn't on loud so he couldn't hear it.

Finishing his shower in a hurry, he got out, wrapping a white towel around himself before looking for his phone. No missed calls showed up, and Castle couldn't decide if he upset or happy about that. Happy because he hadn't missed anything or upset because she still hadn't called him back yet.

Castle was just walking into his closet to find some clothes when he heard the doorbell ring. Remembering out Kyra had left her keys in such a hurry that morning and figuring that it was here, he just left the towel draped around him and made his way down the stairs unsure of what to say or do when Kyra came in. He was preparing himself for the awkwardness as he opened the door. But it wasn't the short brunette that he was expecting.

"Beckett." His mouth was suddenly dry, and the surprise at it being her at his door caused him to forget about his current state of dress. Or it did until he saw Kate blush furiously as her eyes took in his naked chest and the thin fabric of the towel that was keeping his lower body covered. Her eyes bulged and she was left speechless. The entire speech that she had prepared on the drive over was forgotten. "Well," Castle tried to cover himself by standing behind the door. "This is awkward."

* * *

Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter! :) I'm sorry about how short this is, but I don't have time to write anymore right now! I'll get a longer chapter out soon! Promise. :)


	17. Arianna's Here Too!

**Chapter Sixteen: **

"This is awkward."

Kate could barely make out the words that he spoke because of a droplet of water ran down his bare chest. As she stared at it, her mouth suddenly became dry and she swallowed. She felt her heart thunder in her chest at the situation. For a moment, Kate cursed her horrible luck. She didn't even understand why she was reacting this way to his nakedness. Or half nakedness. After all, she had seen him without the towel on. Her eyes stared at the small, white towel. The towel that was wrapped so loosely around his waist that it looked like it was about to fall off at any second, and that wouldn't be good at all. The blush in her cheeks wouldn't disappear and she wouldn't be shocked if she learned that her face was red as an apple. An apple. She couldn't even manage to think about that horrible comparison because of her tingling muscles (after all, not all apples are red).

Those years hadn't caused her to forget about his toned body, but they did weaken the image that was burned into her mind. Even her dreams about him didn't give his body the justice he deserved. _Dreams? _She definitely didn't need to think about _them _at that moment. He looked better than he did five years ago which surprised her. Weren't people's bodies supposed to deteriorate after time? His definitely hadn't. Another droplet of water slipped down his chest and, as she watched it, she noticed that he was taking in ragged breaths. He was as embarrassed about this as she was. That was when she realized that she _really _needed to say something.

But a small voice from behind her spoke before she could. "Mr. Castle?" Arianna questioned nervously and she buried herself into Kate's side. The presence of her daughter made the entire situation even more awkward. The presence of _their_ daughter. Damn, Kate suddenly regretted her decision of not letting her little girl stay at the precinct with Esposito and Ryan (it was shocking about how much she trusted them with her daughter; everyone knows that they're _not _the most responsible people) like she was originally going to do while she and Castle talked.

Despite being specifically requested by the Congressman to investigate the death of his son, Kate had taken the day off as a sick day. She had called the precinct earlier as she sped through the busy streets of New York trying to get to her daughter's K4 class. The captain wasn't shocked to hear her request a sick day, so she knew that he already had seen the paper, but he didn't say anything about it. And she had been so positive that he would've when she called him too. But he didn't; he must have read the distress in her voice or maybe he just knew her well enough to know that it wasn't the time. He probably wasn't even shocked that Castle was her daughter's father. He was, after all, the best detective she knew.

"Mommy?" the tall four year old spoke, and as she looked up at her mother, Kate could tell she was completely oblivious about what was happening in front of her.

Kate swallowed nervously, turning back to Castle. "Can we come in?" She spoke awkwardly, her muscles tense. "Please?" The detective adds a second later.

He stands there for a moment, staring at her blankly as if he couldn't comprehend what she was saying before nodding sharply. "Yeah, sure, of course, come…on in." He opened the door wider and shuffled back awkwardly. As Kate passed by him, guiding her daughter with a gentle hand on her back, she couldn't help but notice that the knuckles on his hand that held his towel around him were white as a ghost (_another cliché_ _comparison_?). Once they were out of the doorway, he closed it.

An awkward silence took up the room until a few minutes later when Castle spoke. "I'm…I'm going to uh…" he pointed with his thumb to the stairs, "…get dressed. I'll be right back." As he walked away, despite her desperate attempts _not _to, she glanced at his retreating back before glancing away with a blush. Her heart thumped in her chest from embarrassment. She couldn't believe that she just did that. She had checked Castle out. If Lanie knew that she had just checked out his ass, she would murder her. Kate took in a shaky breath as she glanced around the apartment. Not much had changed since the last time she had been here; the detective inside of her noticed. The walls were the same color, just given a newer, fresher coat of paint and some of the paintings and pictures were the same. The furniture had, of course, changed, and she noted, with some sadness, that a picture of her and the gang from years earlier was missing. She wondered why that was.

A shuffling at the door alerted Kate that someone was there. A moment later it slid open to reveal Kyra. And several of Kyra's friends. The detective tensed. The women were smiling and chatting happily, each carrying several bags, until they saw Kate. For a moment, she wondered if Kyra had actually told them about her and then seconds later, when greeted with several awful looks, she was positive. Though Kyra probably didn't tell them; they had just probably seen the article themselves.

"Mommy?" Again it was her daughter who interrupted the tense silence. "Who are they?" The whisper wasn't exactly a quiet one.

"I'm Kyra," the tiny woman stepped forward, gazing intensely at the detective's daughter. Her awkward form and slight turn of her mouth (that she couldn't hide despite her efforts) told Kate that she noticed the similarities between father and daughter. "An old acquaintance of your mom's," she explained quietly. Kate was almost glad that she hadn't used 'friend' to describe the two of them because that would have been a lie, and Kate would really feel a lot less guilty if she messed up Castle's relationship with the woman if she didn't describe them as friends. "You must be Arianna."

"How do you know my name?" The girl asked curiously.

Kate exhaled loudly. "She knows Mr. Castle."

"Oh," Arianna spoke, her shyness disappearing quickly at the sound of the now familiar name. "Do you know that he's my daddy?" She asked suddenly, surprising the adults. "And I also have a sister too! Her name's Alexis. She's fun!"

Kate's wince couldn't be stopped. Kyra's friends glared at the small girl, and Kate decided that if they didn't stop looking at her little girl like that soon, she was going to give them a real reason to hate her. Kyra nodded and none of the adults could miss the hurt expression that flashed across her face at the statement. "Where _is_ Mr. Castle?"

"He's getting dressed." Arianna told her honestly.

"Getting dressed?" one of Kyra's friends squawk, and Kate fights the urge to roll her eyes. Apparently, they thought she was going to jump the man that she hadn't seen in years and who was also engaged while his future bride was away. With her daughter in the room. Their daughter, she corrected herself. That was definitely going to be hard to get used to.

Kate was going to explain further, but the only words that would come to her mind weren't the best things to say and would only come out sounding awful. Silence took up the room once again, and Kate almost wished for Castle to make an appearance. Almost. She wasn't sure whether he would make it better or worse. Actually, there probably wasn't a 'better' side to a situation like this. She could only wish there was. Before Kate could make a decision, out of the corner of her eye, she watched Castle walk down the stairs. Time seemed to freeze and Kate waited for him to notice the others. The entire thing seemed so surreal and like it was straight out of a movie. Well, actually, now that she thought of it, her entire life seemed like a movie especially the parts that included him. "Kyra?" the writer tensed once he noticed his fiancée's presence. Then, turning to her, he spoke "Kate?" and with her name the detective heard his voice crack.

Once again oblivious, the youngest brunette spoke up, "Arianna's here too!"

* * *

Ah, I enjoy having a four year old in my story. :) They're so fun, except when you have to be around them ALL the time. Then they're bound to get annoying (like my sister!) Oh, and how about that season premiere?


	18. Nothing Ever Happened

**Chapter Seventeen: **

"Hey," Kyra turns to her friends. "Just wait outside for a moment, please. I'll be there in a second." She breathes. "I forgot a magazine that I wanted. It had one of the cutest outfits in it, and I couldn't remember quite what it looked like. I was just coming to get that." She seemed a little cold, but Kate couldn't blame her. She couldn't imagine herself in the other's position. Kate wasn't sure that she was strong enough to remain in a relationship with this many complications. "I'll be gone in a few minutes." Though it doesn't seem like he noticed, Kate saw Kyra shoot a glare in Castle's direction.

She frowned. She didn't want to get in between the two, but it wasn't like, if Castle knew about their daughter, there could be any way that it could be avoided. Kyra nodded somewhat awkwardly, walked up the stairs, and then walked off in the direction that Castle had come from just moments before. "She's nice!" Arianna whispered to Kate, standing on her toes to get closer to her mother. Of course, Kate thought so as well, and she was beginning to think that more and more since the news about Arianna's paternity had come to light, despite the look that the woman had just shot Castle. Kate didn't think, once again if their positions were reversed, that she could be as understanding.

Castle shuffles awkwardly in front of her, and Kate feels sorry for him even though she's the one who should really feel out of place. Castle did have a good argument that he was in a worst situation than her, at least at the moment. Two of his lovers one which he was engaged to and the other with whom he shared a child in the same room? Kate's been there before, several times, minus the engagement and shared child, of course. "We should leave," Kate says, though it comes out more like a question than a statement.

"No, no," Castle argues. "We need to talk."

"What about you and Kyra?" Kate can't stop herself from asking. She's a detective, so it's habitual for her to notice the way his eyes flash to the stairs ever few moments.

"I'll talk to her later."

"I'm sorry, Castle," she says quietly with a small sigh. For a moment, she wasn't sure he had heard her, but then he acknowledged it with a slight nod though his eyes never leave their daughter's form.

"Does she know?" He asks a moment later. Arianna looks around confused, wondering who they were talking about.

"Who knows what?"

Usually Kate would smile at her daughter's need to get down to the bottom of things, which greatly resembled her father, but this time she didn't. "I was going to wait." She informs him. "So we could tell her together, but once I arrived at her school, I was too late."

"Oh, no," he murmurs, shaking his head.

"You're talking about me," Arianna says, mostly to herself. "I'm fine now though, Mr. Castle, Mommy's explained everything. She even said that Alexis could be my sister and you can be my daddy! I've always wanted a daddy," She whispered the last sentence to Castle, who was now kneeling in front of her. "But don't tell Mommy that okay because she always seemed to get upset when I asked."

When she finished, Castle had to glance at Kate. What did she mean by that? He still had so many questions that needed answers. None of which could be spoken in front of Arianna either. "What did she say?" Kate asked, interrupting his train of thought.

"Nothing," Arianna sing-songed innocently.

Kate turned her gaze to Castle and stared at him like she had stared down those suspects all those times when he was still following her around. The stare was much more intense than he had remembered, but still he couldn't betray his daughter's confidence. Instead, he told her, "It's a father-daughter thing."

And in turn, her glare became icy for a moment before she let out a groan. "Oh, no, this is was my life is going to turn in to, isn't it?"

"What? Our daughter and I keeping stuff from you?" Arianna and Castle shared a smile and a look. "Sounds about right."

Another groan came from the tall brunette. "And I thought you were bad when you were a tag along, nine year old on a sugar rush writer. I know have a new respect for Meredith."

"Hey!" he shouted, feigning hurt. "I do believe that was an insult."

She shrugged before speaking sarcastically, "Really, Castle? Great deductive, reasoning skills there."

"I know. They've always impressed you, huh?" He asked with a smug smile.

But Kate didn't say anything; she just resorted back to her old eye roll, which Castle missed a lot more than he'd care to admit.

The playful banter stopped though a few moments later and silence filled its space when Kyra slowly made her way down the stairs. "Goodbye, Kate. It was nice to meet you Arianna. Rick." She spoke the latter almost coldly as she walked out the door.

Kate frowned and soon found herself trotting after the woman. Behind her, she could hear a patter of small footsteps, but they stopped right before she closed the door. Faintly, she could hear Castle and Arianna talking within the apartment. "Kyra," Kate called out to the woman who was making her way to the elevator along with her friends.

At first the tiny woman didn't seem to hear her, so while following her, Kate called again, "Kyra." This time Kyra slowly turned to face the detective.

"Kate?" She was shocked by the woman's presence.

"Can I speak to you for a moment?" She asked, continuing to walk to stand in front of the woman despite her friends' glares. "Alone?" She adds momentarily.

After Kyra nods, signaling to her posse that it'll be all right, the tallest one who has bright red hair tells her, "We'll be at the elevator."

Once Kate believes they're out of earshot, Kate begins. "I know this is very shocking and hard, and I truly admire the strength that you must have to endure such a situation, but please, don't blame Castle for this. I'm the one who made the mistake. I messed up. Big time. If there was a way I could go back and change it all, I probably would, but I can't. _I_ kept her from him. He had _no _idea whatsoever that she existed in the first place until a few nights ago and even then he didn't know that she was his daughter." She paused to take a breath before continuing shortly. "Because I didn't tell him. And to be honest, I don't know if I would have. I'm a coward and an idiot and I probably don't even deserve that little girl in there, but he does. And it's not his fault. So please, don't be mad with him. Be mad at me. I'm the one who really deserves it, not him."

Kyra nods, absorbing everything. "I know and a part of me is mad at you too, but still, he didn't even tell me that you were together in the first place. That makes me wonder if he trusts me, which makes me mad at him, not you."

Kate sighs. "He didn't tell you because we weren't really what people would call together and because it was painful for him."

"Painful?" She asks, confused.

"A few months before I found out I was expecting, Castle was shot."

Her eyebrows knit and she stares off into space as if things are beginning to make sense. "The scar. He has a scar, but he wouldn't tell me where it was from. He seemed upset anytime I asked about it, so finally I stopped asking."

Kate nodded, "It was really bad. He was in a coma. Once he came out of it and recovered, he immediately asked me to go back in the field. To let him follow me again. Get research," she held back a snort at that. "I blamed myself, and I didn't want Alexis to lose him because I knew firsthand what it was like growing up without one of your parents. So I started detaching from him. I knew that it would hurt both of us and the people at the precinct because they had really grown close to him throughout the years. But still I believed it would be the best thing I could do. Finally, he grew tired of it and he gave up at trying to make everything normal again. My plan worked."

"That still doesn't explain your relationship with him?"

Kate forced a smile. "We didn't have a relationship, and I'd prefer if we didn't talk about that. I don't really think either of us would be comfortable."

She nodded. "Thank you, Kate."

"Thank you. For listening and understanding," the detective finished awkwardly.

"All right," she pointed a finger back to her waiting friends. "I have to go."

Kate breathed, "As to I."

Kyra smiled at her, or forced a smile in her direction, before walking down the hall in the direction of her friends.

"Oh, and Kyra?" Kate called. Once she turned around, Kate continued. "If he asks, could you please tell him that I didn't really tell you anything? That nothing ever happened?"

Kyra nods understandingly and Kate takes a deep breath before walking back into Castle apartment.


	19. Grilled Cheeses, Movies, and Playgrounds

**Author's Note: **I'm _so _sorry about the wait! Hope you still enjoy it! (:

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen:**

"Ice cream, Castle, really?" Kate asked as she stared at her former partner, who was in the process of handing her, their, daughter a bowl of vanilla ice cream, complete with M&M's, Hershey's chocolate syrup, and other sundae sidings. "She hasn't even had lunch yet."

"Dessert is always better before lunch, right?" He looked to his daughter, who nodded while shoving a huge spoonful of ice cream in her mouth. Kate rolled her eyes at him.

Despite the necessary conversations that were inevitably coming, Kate and Castle had decided to postpone it to spend time with Arianna, who had just experienced an overwhelming day Even though she seemed to have no trouble digesting the information, at least outwardly. They were currently in the middle of watching the movie _Sleeping Beauty _(that Castle had borrowed from Alexis) because it was the movie that Arianna had asked to see.

By the end of the movie, her chocolate rush had come to an end and tiredness replaced it. With a grin and ice cream mustache, Arianna had fallen asleep with her head on Beckett's lap and feet in Castle's. Guilt filled Kate as she watched, from the corner of her eye, as Castle stared at their daughter with amazement in their eyes. She had already known that she had made the wrong decision and knew that at some point she was going to have to get over it, knowing that she could never change her decision, but seeing that look on his facing and knowing that she had caused the two to miss out on so many unrecoverable moments made her hate herself.

Soon, she learned that her innocent glance from the corner of her eye had turned into a full blown stare when Castle looked up at her. It seemed like time had stopped when their eyes had met. Looking into his blue eyes, she felt as if maybe he had forgiven her. But maybe she was deluding herself; her hope suffocating her sensible thoughts. But maybe not. It was too bad she wasn't given more time to consider the two possibilities because in reality, time hadn't stopped and Arianna had rolled over. Freezing, the duos eyes immediately when to the young girl, who had begun to snore softly.

Reassured that she hadn't awoken, Kate looked back up to Castle. This time, time hadn't frozen and she hadn't become mesmerized by his striking blue eyes. Instead, Castle had whispered softly, "Can we talk now?"

"Of course, where?" his eyes darted to the kitchen and then back to her where she nodded. Castle moved first, slowly sliding the young brunette's legs from his lap and onto the sofa. Standing, he waited for Beckett, who stood shortly. Awkwardness surrounded them as they stood there in the living room, staring at the other. The television had been cut off earlier by Castle, who didn't want the noise to disturb the youngest Beckett.

Clearing his throat, Castle walked into the kitchen with Beckett following close behind. Both of them had something on their minds to say when they walked into the room until they looked at the other. Beckett suddenly felt claustrophobic as if the walls were closing in on her. Castle, on the other hand, felt like he was suffocating. Kate, finally, recovered enough to choke out the words, "What do you want to start with?"

"What do you mean?" He breathed, grateful for the noise in the all too quiet room.

"Do you want me to just tell you about her? Or do you want to try and sort everything out?"

Castle thought about it for a moment. "My choice?" she replied positively. "Can we try and sort everything out first? So then that would be out of the way so we can talk more about Arianna."

Silence filled the room once again.

"Custody. What-?" Beckett trailed off, pacing and running her fingers through her hair. "I have no clue about what to say…do…This is just so weird."

He wanted to touch her, to comfort her, but he didn't. "I know. But we're going to work this out. When will it be okay for me to get her?"

"I-I had this friend back in high school. She and her brother spent every other week with the other parent. She seemed fine with it. I thought it would be a lot of moving, but she said that she had her things at both places, and she was happy with it. I think that's a good idea, maybe…if it's all right with you, of course."

His eyes were wide. "Really? Every other week?"

He seemed excited, but she wasn't sure. "You don't like that. Of course, you can come and see her whenever you want. Or-or maybe, this has all been thrown on you so quickly, if you don't want-want h-h-" Thankfully, he cut her off because she wasn't sure if she could finish the sentence. How could someone not want Arianna?

"No, no, I just thought that I'd get every other weekend or something similar to that. I-I was surprised. That amazing, but are you sure that's okay with you?"

"Yeah, of course, we need to start off slowly because Arianna isn't used to being away from me that long, but that's fine with me."

Castle smiled at her. "Okay, what about Christmas?"

"Half and half?" she asked.

"Okay, Thanksgiving?"

Beckett shrugged.

"Can I get her for Halloween?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "I usually have to work on it anyway. It's a fight to get off."

He grinned. "You can get Thanksgiving then."

"Valentine's Day?" she asked. "Can I get Easter? I usually go to my dad's with her on that day. Though you probably don't want to have Valentine's Day with Kyra…"

"No, no, that's fine. Kyra will be fine."

"Okay," she nodded thankfully. "Those don't have to be certain. As we go along, if something comes up, then we can sort it out."

He nodded, "and…like you said before if you want to see her whenever she's with me, then you're welcomed to."

.

.

.

Hours later, Arianna had awoken to find her parents in the kitchen laughing. As Kate noticed her, she quickly became aware of her close proximity to Castle. As their conversations about their daughter had progressed and she had filled him on practically everything, they had moved to sit on the stools at the bar. As Beckett told Castle of stories of Arianna, Castle told her of similar stories with Alexis. In interest, they had leaned into closer to the other. Not aware of it earlier, she noticed the few inches between them. Quickly, she moved to where she could kneel in front of her daughter.

"Hey, sweetie, how was your nap?"

Arianna yawned, "Good. I'm hungry."

Beckett looked to Castle, who stood. He walked to the refrigerator, looking into it. "What would you like? I have-"

"Cheese?" the girl interrupted.

"Yes…"

"Can I have a grilled cheese?"

"One grilled cheese, coming up."

.

.

.

Later on in the afternoon, the answering machine took a call from Kyra saying that she was spending the night at her friend's. But no one heard it because no one was there. Castle had taken the two Beckett women to the large playground at the park near his building.

* * *

Yeah, not the greatest chapter and for that, I'm sorry too, but I just wanted to hurry up and get this out there for you faithful readers. Please review. (:


	20. Getting Used

**Chapter Nineteen**

"We should be going now." Beckett said, standing to her feet with a yawn.

"But-" the father-daughter pair objected at the same time.

"Mommy," Arianna continued, "Can't we just stay for just a little bit longer?" The young girl looked up to her mother with her perfected puppy dog look as she added, "Please?"

"Or you can spend the night…?" Castle offered hopefully. "I have two extra bedrooms that you'd be welcomed to stay in." He paused momentarily to adapt his own puppy dog expression onto his face. "I wouldn't feel comfortable with the two of you going home so late either."

Beckett glared at him. "I'm not even going to begin on how unbelievably sexist that was and just go straight into argument number one: we have no clothes here."

Castle frowned, and the ends of the detective's mouth curved. "Number two: Kyra would, most definitely, not like it. And I have already caused enough trouble for the two of you."

"Kyra will be staying with some friends for tonight."

"Castle-"

"Please Mommy, can we stay with Daddy?" The room froze as the title flowed as easily from the girl's mouth as 'Mommy' did. They were double-teaming her, and somewhere between the matching expressions and guilt that enveloped her she relented.

.

.

.

"Why are you being so nice to me, Castle?" Kate asked as they walked down the hallway that led from the room in which their daughter was sleeping. The question, though being thought since the revelation of the news hit him, was blurted out quickly. Ever surprising her, Castle seemed bewildered.

"I don't understand what you mean, Detective." He replied still tense from a moment earlier when their hands had accidentally brushed while walking from what was their daughter's room.

"I left you," she spoke with her voice just above a whisper, "and never told you that I had had your daughter. And yet, you're still nice to me. I don't understand. Why?"

"I was mad," he admitted as they reached the bottom of the stairs. "Shocked more than that, but I was still extremely upset. Then, I thought about it. At the time, you must have had your reasons for doing such a thing, and I respect that. And now, I see how much you regret it and how guilty you feel over it. It was a mistake, and we all make mistakes. But you just have to move on and deal with them. I know you're sorry, and I've forgiven you." They were still paused at the bottom of the stairway. "That's how I'm still nice to you. That and you're Beckett. I could never be mad at you for too long."

Kate nodded, a smile gracing her face, and although she still felt guilty, it felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. "Thank you, Castle."

"Anytime, Detective," he returned the smile. For a moment, it was just them, and for a moment, she remembered what they used to be before drama consumed their lives and things were turned upside down, never to be the same again. For a moment, they were having a moment.

Wait. They were having a moment. They were having a moment? Beckett felt her heart race, but as she tried to look away, she found herself to be frozen, lost in the sky of blue. Then, she could have sworn that he was leaning in towards her, his lips centimeters from her own. "Castle," she breathed his name to stop him before pausing shortly to pray that her breath wasn't bad.

"What?"

She knew that there was something she was going to say, but at the moment, as his lips came even closer to her own, she forgot. Just as his lips came to meet her own, the doorknob of the door in front of them twisted, and the door creaked open slowly causing the duo to jump apart and distance themselves from the other, both searching their minds to answer one question: what the hell just happened?

.

.

.

"Alexis!" Castle exclaimed at the person opening the door, his tone showing obvious nervousness.

"Hey, Dad," the younger Castle murmured quietly as he spoke.

"Wha-what are you doing home so soon? I thought that you were spending the night at Meena's house?" His eyes looked to Beckett before quickly returning to meet his daughter's eyes, guiltily.

Alexis sighed, a frown forming at the edges of her lips, "We haven't seen each other in a while, and," she bit her lip, "I thought that it'd be fun, you know, like old times. I thought that we'd chat and catch up, and it would be just like back in high school, but it wasn't. She…she's changed, and I guess somewhere between the lines, I've changed too. Now we're just too different. We've changed just a little too much." Biting her lip, she stared out into the distance. "And we couldn't seem to get it back. Time changes people, things change people, and once these people grow apart separately, I guess it's just too impossible to reconnect. Things happen for a reason. Maybe Meena and I just aren't meant to be friends anymore. Maybe somethings just aren't supposed to happen." She ran her free hand through her chest length, fiery hair.

He took the words to heart, looking at Beckett without thinking. They were too much different. Things had changed too much for them. She had _left _him before secretly giving birth to their daughter, who she really, truly only told him about after a desperate reporter had already informed him after making a scandalous accusation. Yes, maybe, she had maybe hurt him a little too much, and maybe certain things happened that they couldn't get back. And maybe somewhere among fear, heartbreak, and secrets, they had lost the chance for a relationship that was never truly given the chance to run its course. Or well, it was given the chance. _They _were given the chance, but they hadn't taken up on it. It was their fault, and now they had to deal with the consequences.

Or he did. And at the time where he had finally been to point where he could actually say that he was no longer in love with her. Of course, though, he stilled loved her, but no longer was he filled with the magic that being in love came with, or, to him, the pain. But then, she had roared her way back into his life, although reluctantly, and caused a hurricane of turmoil within him. Could he still say that he was in love with Kyra when she was there with him, when he knew that they had shared a child together? He did still feel love for her unquestionably, like with Beckett he always would, but was it enough to marry her? Did he even need to be engaged to a woman when questions were circulating around his head like they were? Kyra definitely didn't deserve it and neither did Beckett, really.

"Kate!" His daughter's squeal cut through his thoughts and caused them to quickly flee his mind, allowing him to snap back into reality.

Beckett was barely able to let out a, "Shh!" before Alexis had wrapped her into a tight bear hug. There was one thing that was certain in his mind: Alexis preferred Beckett over Kyra. And Beckett was his other daughter's mother. Martha was quite taken with the woman as well, apparent from even their first meeting. The choice of his family's was obvious, but what about him? It was his love life after all. Maybe Kyra wasn't meant to be 'the one that got away,' and maybe the earlier time wasn't for them because, if so, he wouldn't have his girls. He wouldn't have met Beckett. His life wouldn't have been permanently changed in the way in which, although saddening, was worth it in every single way.

Maybe Beckett was really his 'one who got away,' but could he ever live with those monumental 'what ifs,' especially after knowing what their children would look like? Especially after getting an insight into what their life would be like together: the two of them putting Arianna to bed, having emotion-scrambling moments, without the depressing guilt and inevitable choices and Alexis coming home from college to visit both of them, sharing things with Beckett that could never be possible with Meredith? "What are you doing here?" Alexis asked, finally releasing Beckett from her stone grasp. For now, he was grateful for the distraction.

"Being held against my will," she quipped. If he didn't know her so well, he'd be offended with Beckett's response.

Alexis grinned widely. "By whom: my father or my sister?"

"It was a combined attack, hard to tell who threw each blow."

From her smile and expression, Beckett knew that Alexis had been there before, but for her, it was doubled, "Puppy dog expression?"

"It always is, isn't it?" The detective's mouth transformed into a thin line, unamused, as the red-head nodded, understandingly.

"I'm really in the mood for some comfort food. Would you like to scrounge the kitchen to see what we can make?"

"I'd love to," Beckett smiled, locking her arm into Alexis' before walking into the kitchen.

Castle shook his head at the two, a smile forming on his face, "Thanks for making me feel included." He yelled out in their direction.

But all he got in return was a doubled "Shhh!"

Still, he found, as he relaxed on his couch, turning on the DVRed most recent episode of _One Life to Live, _he could get used to this.

* * *

I'm sorry about the long wait, but I hope that some of you still like this story and are interested in reading it! I hope that you enjoyed it. Please leave a review and tell me what you think!(:


	21. Breathing

**Chapter Twenty: **

Three Months Later…

He stared at his youngest daughter, surprise still evident within him. It had been an easy adjustment, Kate and Arianna fitting into their lives like they always had been there and never left. Life with Kyra had been easier once upon time, but not everything in life could be easy. But every day, just as it was and still is with Alexis, he was amazed that he had been a part in making such a beautiful creature. Her resemblance to her mother continued to make him breathless, as did the fact that he and Beckett shared a child. Things with Beckett had gone back to the way that they had been before her absence, and with the normality, his feelings for her had returned.

He was still reluctant to admit that though because of the hurt that he had experienced the last time he had feelings for her, but thankfully they hadn't reached the level of his previous feelings. They couldn't ever again reach that level though because he had someone, he had Kyra. Kyra was slowly adjusting to him having a second daughter, but she did so amazingly. They decided to push their wedding back to a later date due to the changes. They weren't the same as they had been before, but nothing was. At least, they were doing better than they had been in those first few days.

Slowly and reluctantly, he turned away from his young sleeping beauty and walked from the room, leaving the door cracked open. He tip-toed down the hall although it was unnecessary. He had quickly discovered how sound a sleeper his younger daughter was, and he knew that neither Kyra nor Alexis would be asleep yet. A large yawn left his lips. He had forgotten how tiring taking care of a four year old could be. He was just about to crash on his bed, too tired to bother with pajamas, when a voice called to him near the doorway, "Rick." He turned around, with drooping eyelids, to see Kyra leaning by the door with a small smile on her lips. Another yawn unwilling left his lips. She seemed amused at this and much more at peace than she had been in months. "I was going to ask if you wanted some cake." She cocked her hip, placing her hand on it.

He raised a brow. "You made it?"

She cackled, knowing how she could absolutely not cook a thing. "No, Alexis did. Remember, Arianna helped her while you were sleeping on the couch? The batter was delicious."

"I was resting, not sleeping. I had just shut my eyes for a second." He defended himself.

"If you say so…" She moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "You better get used to this. Otherwise, what are you going to do when we have kids?" He choked at the unexpected question, quickly disguising it as a cough, although he wasn't entirely sure that she had bought it. Sure, they had talked about children before, but that had been such a long time ago. He swallowed heavily as his stomach knotted. He hadn't thought about them having children since their conversation. Had he changed his mind? He wasn't sure. His feelings had been so twisted and jumbled recently.

He yawned once again.

She rolled her eyes. "Just go to sleep."

He forced a smile onto his face as he pushed the thought of having kids with Kyra to the back of his mind. He couldn't think of it now, especially with all the things that were recently. Kyra kissed him gently and smiled at him one last time before leaving. Once he collapsed on the bed and got comfortable, he expected to instantly fall asleep, but he didn't. His mind was too heavy with the thoughts and images of children that shouldn't be because they didn't have the gracefulness of Beckett's nor her nose or the fiery hair that Meredith had given to Alexis. In those few moments before he faded from consciousness, he realized that he never could have children with Kyra.

.

.

.

"Mommy!" the girl rushed into her mother's arms and almost caused her to lose her balance, although she regained it quickly before she could fall. Beckett wrapped Arianna in a tight hug before releasing her. Balancing herself again on her knees, she smiled at the girl before standing. "Daddy, Alexis, Kyra, and I had so much fun!" The girl exclaimed with wide eyes.

"Hmm," Beckett murmured, eyeing Castle suspiciously. "I'm scared to ask."

"Don't be. Alexis and Kyra were here. I was going to fly her to Italy to show her real pizza, but I was stopped."

Beckett sighed, shaking her head at the writer's antics.

"Don't worry," Alexis wrapped Kate in a hug. "I made sure he was on his best behavior."

"Thanks," Kate grinned, "although I didn't think that Castle had a best behavior."

Alexis giggled in her ear and even Kyra cracked a smile, a rare occurrence in her presence, but Castle he just gave her this look that caused her stomach to clench and muttered, "Har, har."

"Can't fight the truth," she informed him as the doorbell rang in the background.

"Oh," Kyra smiled. "That's me. My sister's in town for the weekend. Bye, Kate, Arianna, Alexis. Rick," she murmured as she leaned up to kiss him. Alexis cringed. Arianna shuddered. Kate's stomach clenched and she was quick to look away. She swallowed, surprised at the absence of jealousy. Had she misinterpreted her recent feelings in Castle's presence? For a moment, she hoped it was so. The last time she had those feelings, she had ended up with her daughter, and honestly, she could not have asked for a better thing to happen to her, but she wasn't sure if she could go through that again because what a mess had she gotten herself into.

"We should be going too, shouldn't we, Ari?" Kate asked with a smile that no one noticed was fake, anxious to escape the apartment.

"Yes, I missed Lamby so much!" Arianna exclaimed. Lamby was her daughter's hamster, although she had absolutely no clue why she had named it such a thing. In an afterthought though, it was better than her original choice, Taylor Swift. She still was struggling on remembering her reasons for getting her daughter the hamster in the first place, but in a moment, she knew why. It was because of her daughter's beautiful eyes, the same ones that belonged to her father. She frowned as her stomach rolled. No, she was right earlier. There was no doubt in her mind what those feelings were.

She blinked, wishing her thoughts away. She realized that Kyra had quickly disappeared without her notice. And Castle was slowly approaching her, moving closer. "Can we talk for a minute?" Her stomach was instantly in knots, and Goosebumps covered her skin.

"Sure."

And although it was intended to be a statement, it came out more like a question.

.

.

.

But in the hall, there was no talking. Instead, there was just staring. And silence, too much silence in her opinion, but for once, his noisy ramblings were quiet. And for once, she was actually wishing for them. But they never came.

"Kate," he spoke, moving slowly closer to her. It wasn't Beckett or Detective, but instead Kate and it did nothing to calm her nerves.

Then, he stopped speaking. The thoughts had left his mind, just as comprehensible ones left her.

He was leaning towards her and somehow, she seemed to be getting closer to him as well. She wasn't leaning forward, was she? Oh, God, was he about to kiss her? Castle was about to kiss her. He. Was. About. To. Kiss. Her. She couldn't believe it. But then, once the realization hit her, her oppositions soon followed in their many question forms. They couldn't, could they? No, they couldn't. They shouldn't. It was right. He was engaged. She had broken him and been broken. They were both too destructive to be able to fit.

"Castle, what are you doing?" She struggled to breathe and tried to force the words from her lips.

"I don't know." He replied, looking as if he seriously had no clue. And then, she had room to breathe again as he moved back.

But still, no air would fill her lungs.

* * *

Hope you liked it. Sorry about the break.


	22. Freedom

**Chapter Twenty-One:**

He didn't know where they stood anymore _(too close, but never close enough)_. They had been spending so much time together lately. But that could be easily explained by the shared love for their daughter _(he wanted to make up for the absence and Kate didn't want to create one)_. Honestly, despite the pain of his broken heart the last time, he was beginning to think that he might be falling in love with her. But then there was Kyra. Their wedding had been postponed until further notice, and they hadn't spoken of it since. He was beginning to question everything when it came to Kyra _(was he still in love with her?)_, but she had been by his side more than ever _(jealous, perhaps?)_. And he loved Kyra he honestly did, but was it enough? Because there were times where he would be playing with Arianna or just talking to her and he would glance over to see Kate watching them with this _look _upon her face. Those were the moments when he considered giving them another chance the most. But this time, there was a child involved. And children were messy. And so were they.

But he swore he was ready for the mess.

* * *

He and Kate are co-parenting _(probably, possibly, realistically)_. By all means, Arianna should be completely messed up with no father for the first years of her life and now having one thrown in her face so quickly, but she's the most happy, well-adjusted human he's ever known _(and he knows Alexis) _and she's barely five years old. And he's sure that she would be happier if he parents were together, but she's his daughter and he and Kate were fiery, iffy, and arguable at best and he doesn't want to see her hurt if he and Kate don't make it _(but what if they did?)_.

* * *

Kate is a phenomenal mother. It's mind blowing to see her interacting with their daughter daily. He had never once seen her as a mother before, except for certain times when he would catch her in a conversation with Alexis. There would be a spark in her eye, an emotion in her voice as she notices his presence and speaks to him, and he would think of how she would be a brilliant mother. And he had never once been more right about something in his life. Arianna doesn't really look like him. She's completely her mother daughter, but with his eyes. She doesn't usually act like him, more careful and thoughtful, but there is no doubt that she's his daughter. It doesn't matter how he missed the first years of her life. Although he'll never forget that or how he didn't know of her existence or how it was _Kate _who kept him away from the girl, he's forgiven her and made his peace with that _(except at times, he does get a little mad when Kate speaks of an event that he was never able to share)_.

* * *

He's ninety percent sure that she wants to be with him _(the other ten percent is pure fear)_ because sometimes, after he places a sleeping Arianna in bed, Kate sits on his couch watching a movie, he's sits beside her, and without thought, as if it is the most normal, right thing in the world, she cuddles into his side. They're alone _(not really, Alexis has fallen asleep on the armchair) _and the words are on his lips. But the hours pass and the movie ends and Kate bids him a goodnight and she leaves with the words unspoken _(and it's pathetic because usually he is the most articulate person in the room)_. He doesn't spare one thought of Kyra who was spending the weekend at her mother's house in Maine.

And she doesn't date either, to his knowledge, and to her friends' knowledge _(he has slowly become closer and closer with his friends from the precinct with Kate's reappearance in his life)_ and that has to mean something, right? Not just that she doesn't have any time between Arianna and her work.

* * *

And there's no denying it. There's something about Kate. There has _always _been something about Kate. She seems to draw him to her, holding this unknown power over him. She has his heart, he realizes on a dark, rainy night. And there's no way that he'll ever have it back. Kyra calls him to bed with a tired yawn. And he realizes what he must do _(there is no right time, no right moment)_. He follows her up, sparing a glance at his computer screen. It's a picture of Alexis and Arianna, but in the background, is Kate, grinning wildly while trying obviously to get out of the picture. Her hair is in messy, loose curls, completely natural, and Castle doesn't think he has ever seen such a beautiful sight in his life, but then he focuses on his girls in front of her and he realizes that he has.

* * *

He tells her _(no, not Kate)_. And she cries. She screams and curses and throws things while begging for this to be a dream. But it's not. And soon he finds himself to have tears falling down his own cheeks. He has many regrets, and so many that include the woman in front of him. She deserves better, so much better than him, and he tells her. The comment makes her livid, and she tells him that she doesn't give a damn what she deserves, all she knows is what she wants and needs and that's him. But it's too late for them, and he now realizes that. Maybe they had a chance once upon a time _(who knows?) _but they had changed too much by now. And after all, if there was a Katherine Beckett in the world, then he knows that he had no chance with any woman.

But he apologizes _(again and again and again)_ and tells her that she doesn't have to leave yet. He'll sleep on the couch or maybe the spare bedroom and she can stay here. But she cannot really. He understands her reasons. She packs most of her stuff and tells him that she'll get the rest the next morning, which she does. The next morning, she shows up with dark circles under her eyes and smiles at him. She's no longer angry, only sad. As she leaves his apartment _(and his life) _she turns to him and gives him this look that he knows will forever haunt him and asks, "It was always her, wasn't it?"

But his throat is too closed up to speak and she understands his answer in his silence.

"Did we ever have a chance?" She asks.

He shrugged. There was no sense in lying. "Maybe. Once upon a time." She looks so broken and then he realizing some sense in lying. "Yes, we did back then, I think." But no, they never really had a chance. He tried for too long to make something work that was impossible. And she leaves with her remaining items and doesn't look back at him. And maybe it's better that way _(he didn't like to see the broken look in her eyes that he had caused)_. And he feels numb and empty _(wasting so many years of your life can take it out of you)_, but he was relieved, so relieved, as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. For the first time in years, he feels freedom.

And with freedom came the choices that needed to be made and words that now could be said.

* * *

**Author's Note: **How is this? I think it moves this story quite along… I figured all of you were tired of waiting of them to get together. I know I am. Anyway, once again, I'm sorry about the lengthy break, and again, I hope this makes up to all you faithful readers for that. What do you think? Will Castle tell her about how he feels in the next chapter? I'm beginning to work on the next chapter right now, and if I get some reviews, I may be inclined to finish and publish it today. (:


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